3609 lines
148 KiB
Plaintext
3609 lines
148 KiB
Plaintext
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ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
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Lewis Carroll
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THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 2.9
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CHAPTER I
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Down the Rabbit-Hole
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Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister
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on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had
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peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no
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pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'
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thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'
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So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
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for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether
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the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
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of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White
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Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.
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There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice
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think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to
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itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought
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it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have
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wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);
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but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-
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POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to
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her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
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before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
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take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the
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field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop
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down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
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In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
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considering how in the world she was to get out again.
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The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,
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and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
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moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself
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falling down a very deep well.
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Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she
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had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to
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wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look
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down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to
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see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
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noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;
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here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She
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took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was
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labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it
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was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing
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somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she
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fell past it.
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`Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I
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shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll
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all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,
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even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely
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true.)
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Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I
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wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.
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`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let
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me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,
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you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her
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lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good
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opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to
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listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,
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that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude
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or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,
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or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to
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say.)
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Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right
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THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the
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people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I
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think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this
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time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall
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have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.
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Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
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to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling
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through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what
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an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll
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never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'
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Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
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began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
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should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember
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her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were
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down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but
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you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.
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But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get
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rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of
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way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do
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bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either
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question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt
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that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she
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was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very
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earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a
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bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of
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sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
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Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
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moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
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was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in
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sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost:
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away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it
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say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late
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it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the
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corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found
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herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps
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hanging from the roof.
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There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;
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and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
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other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
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wondering how she was ever to get out again.
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Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of
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solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,
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and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the
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doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or
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the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
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them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
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curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little
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door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key
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in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
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Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
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passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and
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looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.
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How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about
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among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
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she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if
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my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of
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very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish
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I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only
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know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things
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had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few
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things indeed were really impossible.
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There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she
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went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on
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it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like
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telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which
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certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck
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of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'
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beautifully printed on it in large letters.
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It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little
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Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look
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first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';
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for she had read several nice little histories about children who
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had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant
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things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules
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their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker
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will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your
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finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had
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never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked
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`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or
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later.
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However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured
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to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort
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of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast
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turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished
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it off.
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* * * * * * *
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* * * * * *
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* * * * * * *
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`What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up
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like a telescope.'
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And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and
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her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right
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size for going though the little door into that lovely garden.
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First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was
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going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about
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this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my
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going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be
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like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is
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like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
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ever having seen such a thing.
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After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided
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on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when
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she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden
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key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she
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could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly
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through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the
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legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had
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tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and
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cried.
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`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to
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herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'
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She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very
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seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
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severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
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trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game
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of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious
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child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no
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use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why,
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there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable
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person!'
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Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
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the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on
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which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.
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`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,
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I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep
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under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I
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don't care which happens!'
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She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which
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way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to
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feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to
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find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally
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happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
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way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,
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that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the
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common way.
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So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
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* * * * * * *
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* * * * * *
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* * * * * * *
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CHAPTER II
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The Pool of Tears
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`Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much
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surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good
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English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that
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ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her
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feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so
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far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on
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your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't
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be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
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about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be
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kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the
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way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of
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boots every Christmas.'
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And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.
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`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll
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seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the
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directions will look!
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ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
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HEARTHRUG,
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NEAR THE FENDER,
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(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).
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Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'
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Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in
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fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took
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up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.
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Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
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side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get
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through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to
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cry again.
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`You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great
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girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in
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this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all
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the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool
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all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the
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hall.
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After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
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distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.
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It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a
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pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the
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other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
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himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she
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be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate
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that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit
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came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,
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sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid
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gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard
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as he could go.
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Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
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hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:
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`Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday
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things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in
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the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this
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morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little
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different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in
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the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began
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thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age
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as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of
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them.
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`I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such
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long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm
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sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,
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oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,
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and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the
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things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve,
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and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!
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I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the
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Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
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London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
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and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been
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changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'
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and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,
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and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and
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strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--
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`How doth the little crocodile
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Improve his shining tail,
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And pour the waters of the Nile
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On every golden scale!
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`How cheerfully he seems to grin,
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How neatly spread his claws,
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And welcome little fishes in
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With gently smiling jaws!'
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`I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and
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her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel
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after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little
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house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so
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many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
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Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their
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heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look
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up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I
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like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down
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here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a
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sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads
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down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'
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As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
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surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little
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white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done
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that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up
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and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,
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as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,
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and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the
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cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it
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hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.
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`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at
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the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in
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existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed
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back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut
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again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as
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before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,
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`for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare
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it's too bad, that it is!'
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As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
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moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. He first
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idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that
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case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had
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been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
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conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find
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a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in
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the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and
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behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that
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she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
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feet high.
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`I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,
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trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I
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suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer
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thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.'
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Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a
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little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at
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first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then
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she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that
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it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.
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`Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this
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mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should
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think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in
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trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of
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this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'
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(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:
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she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having
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seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a
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mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather
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inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
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eyes, but it said nothing.
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`Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I
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daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the
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Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had
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no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she
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began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in
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her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
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water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg
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your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the
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poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'
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`Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate
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voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'
|
||
|
||
`Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be
|
||
angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:
|
||
I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.
|
||
She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,
|
||
as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so
|
||
nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and
|
||
she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital
|
||
one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,
|
||
for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt
|
||
certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any
|
||
more if you'd rather not.'
|
||
|
||
`We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end
|
||
of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family
|
||
always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear
|
||
the name again!'
|
||
|
||
`I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
|
||
subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'
|
||
The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is
|
||
such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!
|
||
A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly
|
||
brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and
|
||
it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I
|
||
can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you
|
||
know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!
|
||
He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a
|
||
sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the
|
||
Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and
|
||
making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.
|
||
|
||
So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back
|
||
again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't
|
||
like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam
|
||
slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice
|
||
thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to
|
||
the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll
|
||
understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'
|
||
|
||
It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
|
||
with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a
|
||
Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious
|
||
creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the
|
||
shore.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER III
|
||
|
||
A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
|
||
|
||
|
||
They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
|
||
bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their
|
||
fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and
|
||
uncomfortable.
|
||
|
||
The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they
|
||
had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed
|
||
quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with
|
||
them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had
|
||
quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,
|
||
and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better';
|
||
and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,
|
||
and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no
|
||
more to be said.
|
||
|
||
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among
|
||
them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL
|
||
soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large
|
||
ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes
|
||
anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad
|
||
cold if she did not get dry very soon.
|
||
|
||
`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready?
|
||
This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!
|
||
"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was
|
||
soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been
|
||
of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and
|
||
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'
|
||
|
||
`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
|
||
|
||
`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very
|
||
politely: `Did you speak?'
|
||
|
||
`Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
|
||
|
||
`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and
|
||
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:
|
||
and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found
|
||
it advisable--"'
|
||
|
||
`Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
|
||
|
||
`Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you
|
||
know what "it" means.'
|
||
|
||
`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said
|
||
the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is,
|
||
what did the archbishop find?'
|
||
|
||
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
|
||
`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William
|
||
and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was
|
||
moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you
|
||
getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it
|
||
spoke.
|
||
|
||
`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't
|
||
seem to dry me at all.'
|
||
|
||
`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I
|
||
move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more
|
||
energetic remedies--'
|
||
|
||
`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of
|
||
half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do
|
||
either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile:
|
||
some of the other birds tittered audibly.
|
||
|
||
`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,
|
||
`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
|
||
|
||
`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much
|
||
to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY
|
||
ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
|
||
|
||
`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.'
|
||
(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter
|
||
day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
|
||
|
||
First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the
|
||
exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party
|
||
were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One,
|
||
two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,
|
||
and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know
|
||
when the race was over. However, when they had been running half
|
||
an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called
|
||
out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,
|
||
and asking, `But who has won?'
|
||
|
||
This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of
|
||
thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon
|
||
its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare,
|
||
in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At
|
||
last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have
|
||
prizes.'
|
||
|
||
`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices
|
||
asked.
|
||
|
||
`Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with
|
||
one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,
|
||
calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'
|
||
|
||
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand
|
||
in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt
|
||
water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.
|
||
There was exactly one a-piece all round.
|
||
|
||
`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
|
||
|
||
`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have
|
||
you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
|
||
|
||
`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
|
||
|
||
Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo
|
||
solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of
|
||
this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short
|
||
speech, they all cheered.
|
||
|
||
Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked
|
||
so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not
|
||
think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,
|
||
looking as solemn as she could.
|
||
|
||
The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise
|
||
and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not
|
||
taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on
|
||
the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again
|
||
in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
|
||
|
||
`You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,
|
||
`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
|
||
afraid that it would be offended again.
|
||
|
||
`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
|
||
Alice, and sighing.
|
||
|
||
`It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with
|
||
wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And
|
||
she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so
|
||
that her idea of the tale was something like this:--
|
||
|
||
`Fury said to a
|
||
mouse, That he
|
||
met in the
|
||
house,
|
||
"Let us
|
||
both go to
|
||
law: I will
|
||
prosecute
|
||
YOU. --Come,
|
||
I'll take no
|
||
denial; We
|
||
must have a
|
||
trial: For
|
||
really this
|
||
morning I've
|
||
nothing
|
||
to do."
|
||
Said the
|
||
mouse to the
|
||
cur, "Such
|
||
a trial,
|
||
dear Sir,
|
||
With
|
||
no jury
|
||
or judge,
|
||
would be
|
||
wasting
|
||
our
|
||
breath."
|
||
"I'll be
|
||
judge, I'll
|
||
be jury,"
|
||
Said
|
||
cunning
|
||
old Fury:
|
||
"I'll
|
||
try the
|
||
whole
|
||
cause,
|
||
and
|
||
condemn
|
||
you
|
||
to
|
||
death."'
|
||
|
||
|
||
`You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.
|
||
`What are you thinking of?'
|
||
|
||
`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to
|
||
the fifth bend, I think?'
|
||
|
||
`I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
|
||
|
||
`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
|
||
looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
|
||
|
||
`I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
|
||
and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
|
||
|
||
`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily
|
||
offended, you know!'
|
||
|
||
The Mouse only growled in reply.
|
||
|
||
`Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after
|
||
it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but
|
||
the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
|
||
quicker.
|
||
|
||
`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
|
||
was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
|
||
saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you
|
||
never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the
|
||
young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the
|
||
patience of an oyster!'
|
||
|
||
`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
|
||
addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'
|
||
|
||
`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
|
||
said the Lory.
|
||
|
||
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
|
||
her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for
|
||
catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her
|
||
after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look
|
||
at it!'
|
||
|
||
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
|
||
Some of the birds hurried off at once: one the old Magpie began
|
||
wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be
|
||
getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary
|
||
called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my
|
||
dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts
|
||
they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
|
||
|
||
`I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
|
||
melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm
|
||
sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I
|
||
wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice
|
||
began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.
|
||
In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of
|
||
footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping
|
||
that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to
|
||
finish his story.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER IV
|
||
|
||
The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
|
||
|
||
|
||
It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and
|
||
looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;
|
||
and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess!
|
||
Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me
|
||
executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have
|
||
dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was
|
||
looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she
|
||
very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
|
||
nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her
|
||
swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and
|
||
the little door, had vanished completely.
|
||
|
||
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
|
||
and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE
|
||
you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of
|
||
gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened
|
||
that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
|
||
trying to explain the mistake it had made.
|
||
|
||
`He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.
|
||
`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd
|
||
better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'
|
||
As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door
|
||
of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT'
|
||
engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried
|
||
upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,
|
||
and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and
|
||
gloves.
|
||
|
||
`How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going
|
||
messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on
|
||
messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that
|
||
would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready
|
||
for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see
|
||
that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went
|
||
on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering
|
||
people about like that!'
|
||
|
||
By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with
|
||
a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two
|
||
or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and
|
||
a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when
|
||
her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-
|
||
glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,'
|
||
but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know
|
||
SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,
|
||
`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this
|
||
bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for
|
||
really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'
|
||
|
||
It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:
|
||
before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing
|
||
against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
|
||
broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself
|
||
`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I
|
||
can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so
|
||
much!'
|
||
|
||
Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and
|
||
growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in
|
||
another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried
|
||
the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the
|
||
other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and,
|
||
as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one
|
||
foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more,
|
||
whatever happens. What WILL become of me?'
|
||
|
||
Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full
|
||
effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable,
|
||
and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting
|
||
out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
|
||
|
||
`It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one
|
||
wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about
|
||
by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that
|
||
rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,
|
||
this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!
|
||
When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing
|
||
never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There
|
||
ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when
|
||
I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a
|
||
sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more
|
||
HERE.'
|
||
|
||
`But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I
|
||
am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-
|
||
-but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like
|
||
THAT!'
|
||
|
||
`Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you
|
||
learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no
|
||
room at all for any lesson-books!'
|
||
|
||
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,
|
||
and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few
|
||
minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
|
||
|
||
`Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves
|
||
this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the
|
||
stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and
|
||
she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she
|
||
was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no
|
||
reason to be afraid of it.
|
||
|
||
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;
|
||
but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed
|
||
hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it
|
||
say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'
|
||
|
||
`THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she
|
||
fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly
|
||
spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not
|
||
get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall,
|
||
and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was
|
||
just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something
|
||
of the sort.
|
||
|
||
Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are
|
||
you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then
|
||
I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'
|
||
|
||
`Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here!
|
||
Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)
|
||
|
||
`Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
|
||
|
||
`Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.')
|
||
|
||
`An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it
|
||
fills the whole window!'
|
||
|
||
`Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
|
||
|
||
`Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it
|
||
away!'
|
||
|
||
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear
|
||
whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer
|
||
honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at
|
||
last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in
|
||
the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more
|
||
sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there
|
||
must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for
|
||
pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I
|
||
don't want to stay in here any longer!'
|
||
|
||
She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at
|
||
last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a
|
||
good many voice all talking together: she made out the words:
|
||
`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;
|
||
Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up
|
||
at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half
|
||
high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-
|
||
-Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind
|
||
that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud
|
||
crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go
|
||
down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't,
|
||
then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to
|
||
go down the chimney!'
|
||
|
||
`Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said
|
||
Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!
|
||
I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is
|
||
narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'
|
||
|
||
She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
|
||
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what
|
||
sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close
|
||
above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one
|
||
sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.
|
||
|
||
The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes
|
||
Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the
|
||
hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold
|
||
up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?
|
||
What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'
|
||
|
||
Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,'
|
||
thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm
|
||
better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know
|
||
is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes
|
||
like a sky-rocket!'
|
||
|
||
`So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
|
||
|
||
`We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and
|
||
Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set
|
||
Dinah at you!'
|
||
|
||
There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to
|
||
herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any
|
||
sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they
|
||
began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A
|
||
barrowful will do, to begin with.'
|
||
|
||
`A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to
|
||
doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came
|
||
rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face.
|
||
`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out,
|
||
`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead
|
||
silence.
|
||
|
||
Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all
|
||
turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright
|
||
idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she
|
||
thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it
|
||
can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
|
||
suppose.'
|
||
|
||
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find
|
||
that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small
|
||
enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and
|
||
found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.
|
||
The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by
|
||
two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.
|
||
They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she
|
||
ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
|
||
thick wood.
|
||
|
||
`The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she
|
||
wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again;
|
||
and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.
|
||
I think that will be the best plan.'
|
||
|
||
It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and
|
||
simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the
|
||
smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering
|
||
about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over
|
||
her head made her look up in a great hurry.
|
||
|
||
An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round
|
||
eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.
|
||
`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried
|
||
hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the
|
||
time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it
|
||
would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
|
||
|
||
Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of
|
||
stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped
|
||
into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,
|
||
and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice
|
||
dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run
|
||
over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy
|
||
made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in
|
||
its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
|
||
like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
|
||
moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
|
||
again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
|
||
stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long
|
||
way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat
|
||
down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its
|
||
mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
|
||
|
||
This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;
|
||
so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out
|
||
of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the
|
||
distance.
|
||
|
||
`And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she
|
||
leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself
|
||
with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks
|
||
very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh
|
||
dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let
|
||
me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or
|
||
drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'
|
||
|
||
The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round
|
||
her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see
|
||
anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under
|
||
the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her,
|
||
about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under
|
||
it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her
|
||
that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.
|
||
|
||
She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of
|
||
the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large
|
||
caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,
|
||
quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice
|
||
of her or of anything else.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER V
|
||
|
||
Advice from a Caterpillar
|
||
|
||
|
||
The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in
|
||
silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
|
||
mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
|
||
|
||
`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice
|
||
replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--
|
||
at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think
|
||
I must have been changed several times since then.'
|
||
|
||
`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.
|
||
`Explain yourself!'
|
||
|
||
`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because
|
||
I'm not myself, you see.'
|
||
|
||
`I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
`I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very
|
||
politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and
|
||
being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'
|
||
|
||
`It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
`Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but
|
||
when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you
|
||
know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll
|
||
feel it a little queer, won't you?'
|
||
|
||
`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
`Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;
|
||
`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'
|
||
|
||
`You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'
|
||
|
||
Which brought them back again to the beginning of the
|
||
conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's
|
||
making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,
|
||
very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'
|
||
|
||
`Why?' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not
|
||
think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in
|
||
a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
|
||
|
||
`Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something
|
||
important to say!'
|
||
|
||
This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back
|
||
again.
|
||
|
||
`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
`Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as
|
||
she could.
|
||
|
||
`No,' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else
|
||
to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth
|
||
hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but
|
||
at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth
|
||
again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'
|
||
|
||
`I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as
|
||
I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
|
||
|
||
`Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
`Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it
|
||
all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
|
||
|
||
`Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
Alice folded her hands, and began:--
|
||
|
||
`You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
|
||
`And your hair has become very white;
|
||
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
|
||
Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
|
||
|
||
`In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
|
||
`I feared it might injure the brain;
|
||
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
|
||
Why, I do it again and again.'
|
||
|
||
`You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,
|
||
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
|
||
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
|
||
Pray, what is the reason of that?'
|
||
|
||
`In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
|
||
`I kept all my limbs very supple
|
||
By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
|
||
Allow me to sell you a couple?'
|
||
|
||
`You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak
|
||
For anything tougher than suet;
|
||
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
|
||
Pray how did you manage to do it?'
|
||
|
||
`In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,
|
||
And argued each case with my wife;
|
||
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
|
||
Has lasted the rest of my life.'
|
||
|
||
`You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose
|
||
That your eye was as steady as ever;
|
||
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
|
||
What made you so awfully clever?'
|
||
|
||
`I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
|
||
Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!
|
||
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
|
||
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'
|
||
|
||
|
||
`That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
`Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the
|
||
words have got altered.'
|
||
|
||
`It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar
|
||
decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
|
||
|
||
The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
|
||
|
||
`What size do you want to be?' it asked.
|
||
|
||
`Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;
|
||
`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'
|
||
|
||
`I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in
|
||
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
|
||
|
||
`Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
|
||
|
||
`Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you
|
||
wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched
|
||
height to be.'
|
||
|
||
`It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar
|
||
angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three
|
||
inches high).
|
||
|
||
`But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
|
||
And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so
|
||
easily offended!'
|
||
|
||
`You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it
|
||
put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
|
||
|
||
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again.
|
||
In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
|
||
mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got
|
||
down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely
|
||
remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and
|
||
the other side will make you grow shorter.'
|
||
|
||
`One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to
|
||
herself.
|
||
|
||
`Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had
|
||
asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
|
||
|
||
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a
|
||
minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as
|
||
it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.
|
||
However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they
|
||
would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.
|
||
|
||
`And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a
|
||
little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment
|
||
she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her
|
||
foot!
|
||
|
||
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
|
||
she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking
|
||
rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.
|
||
Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was
|
||
hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and
|
||
managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.
|
||
|
||
|
||
* * * * * * *
|
||
|
||
* * * * * *
|
||
|
||
* * * * * * *
|
||
|
||
`Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of
|
||
delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she
|
||
found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could
|
||
see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which
|
||
seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay
|
||
far below her.
|
||
|
||
`What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where
|
||
HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I
|
||
can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no
|
||
result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the
|
||
distant green leaves.
|
||
|
||
As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
|
||
head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted
|
||
to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,
|
||
like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a
|
||
graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which
|
||
she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
|
||
had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a
|
||
hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating
|
||
her violently with its wings.
|
||
|
||
`Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
|
||
|
||
`I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!'
|
||
|
||
`Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more
|
||
subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every
|
||
way, and nothing seems to suit them!'
|
||
|
||
`I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said
|
||
Alice.
|
||
|
||
`I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've
|
||
tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but
|
||
those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'
|
||
|
||
Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
|
||
use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
|
||
|
||
`As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the
|
||
Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and
|
||
day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'
|
||
|
||
`I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was
|
||
beginning to see its meaning.
|
||
|
||
`And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued
|
||
the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was
|
||
thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come
|
||
wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
|
||
|
||
`But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm
|
||
a--'
|
||
|
||
`Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're
|
||
trying to invent something!'
|
||
|
||
`I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she
|
||
remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.
|
||
|
||
`A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the
|
||
deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my
|
||
time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a
|
||
serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be
|
||
telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'
|
||
|
||
`I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very
|
||
truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as
|
||
serpents do, you know.'
|
||
|
||
`I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why
|
||
then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'
|
||
|
||
This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent
|
||
for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of
|
||
adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and
|
||
what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a
|
||
serpent?'
|
||
|
||
`It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm
|
||
not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't
|
||
want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'
|
||
|
||
`Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it
|
||
settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the
|
||
trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled
|
||
among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and
|
||
untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the
|
||
pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very
|
||
carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and
|
||
growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had
|
||
succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
|
||
|
||
It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,
|
||
that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a
|
||
few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come,
|
||
there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes
|
||
are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to
|
||
another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next
|
||
thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be
|
||
done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an
|
||
open place, with a little house in it about four feet high.
|
||
`Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come
|
||
upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their
|
||
wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did
|
||
not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself
|
||
down to nine inches high.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER VI
|
||
|
||
Pig and Pepper
|
||
|
||
|
||
For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and
|
||
wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came
|
||
running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman
|
||
because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only,
|
||
she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door
|
||
with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery,
|
||
with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,
|
||
Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their
|
||
heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and
|
||
crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
|
||
|
||
The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great
|
||
letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to
|
||
the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An
|
||
invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman
|
||
repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the
|
||
words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess
|
||
to play croquet.'
|
||
|
||
Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled
|
||
together.
|
||
|
||
Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into
|
||
the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped
|
||
out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the
|
||
ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.
|
||
|
||
Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
|
||
|
||
`There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and
|
||
that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the
|
||
door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise
|
||
inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was
|
||
a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling
|
||
and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish
|
||
or kettle had been broken to pieces.
|
||
|
||
`Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?'
|
||
|
||
`There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went
|
||
on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For
|
||
instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let
|
||
you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time
|
||
he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But
|
||
perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so
|
||
VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might
|
||
answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.
|
||
|
||
`I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--'
|
||
|
||
At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
|
||
came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just
|
||
grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees
|
||
behind him.
|
||
|
||
`--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone,
|
||
exactly as if nothing had happened.
|
||
|
||
`How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
|
||
|
||
`ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the
|
||
first question, you know.'
|
||
|
||
It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so.
|
||
`It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the
|
||
creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'
|
||
|
||
The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for
|
||
repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he
|
||
said, `on and off, for days and days.'
|
||
|
||
`But what am I to do?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.
|
||
|
||
`Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately:
|
||
`he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.
|
||
|
||
The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of
|
||
smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a
|
||
three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was
|
||
leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to
|
||
be full of soup.
|
||
|
||
`There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to
|
||
herself, as well as she could for sneezing.
|
||
|
||
There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the
|
||
Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was
|
||
sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The
|
||
only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,
|
||
and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from
|
||
ear to ear.
|
||
|
||
`Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for
|
||
she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to
|
||
speak first, `why your cat grins like that?'
|
||
|
||
`It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why.
|
||
Pig!'
|
||
|
||
She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice
|
||
quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed
|
||
to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on
|
||
again:--
|
||
|
||
`I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I
|
||
didn't know that cats COULD grin.'
|
||
|
||
`They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.'
|
||
|
||
`I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,
|
||
feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.
|
||
|
||
`You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.'
|
||
|
||
Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought
|
||
it would be as well to introduce some other subject of
|
||
conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took
|
||
the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work
|
||
throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby
|
||
--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,
|
||
plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when
|
||
they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it
|
||
was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
|
||
|
||
`Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up
|
||
and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS
|
||
nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very
|
||
nearly carried it off.
|
||
|
||
`If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a
|
||
hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it
|
||
does.'
|
||
|
||
`Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very
|
||
glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her
|
||
knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day
|
||
and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn
|
||
round on its axis--'
|
||
|
||
`Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!'
|
||
|
||
Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant
|
||
to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and
|
||
seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four
|
||
hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--'
|
||
|
||
`Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide
|
||
figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again,
|
||
singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a
|
||
violent shake at the end of every line:
|
||
|
||
`Speak roughly to your little boy,
|
||
And beat him when he sneezes:
|
||
He only does it to annoy,
|
||
Because he knows it teases.'
|
||
|
||
CHORUS.
|
||
|
||
(In which the cook and the baby joined):--
|
||
|
||
`Wow! wow! wow!'
|
||
|
||
While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
|
||
tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
|
||
howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--
|
||
|
||
`I speak severely to my boy,
|
||
I beat him when he sneezes;
|
||
For he can thoroughly enjoy
|
||
The pepper when he pleases!'
|
||
|
||
CHORUS.
|
||
|
||
`Wow! wow! wow!'
|
||
|
||
`Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said
|
||
to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and
|
||
get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of
|
||
the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,
|
||
but it just missed her.
|
||
|
||
Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-
|
||
shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all
|
||
directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor
|
||
little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,
|
||
and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,
|
||
so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much
|
||
as she could do to hold it.
|
||
|
||
As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,
|
||
(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep
|
||
tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its
|
||
undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I
|
||
don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure
|
||
to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it
|
||
behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing
|
||
grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't
|
||
grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing
|
||
yourself.'
|
||
|
||
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into
|
||
its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no
|
||
doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout
|
||
than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for
|
||
a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at
|
||
all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked
|
||
into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.
|
||
|
||
No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig,
|
||
my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do
|
||
with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or
|
||
grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for
|
||
some while in silence.
|
||
|
||
Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I
|
||
to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted
|
||
again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some
|
||
alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was
|
||
neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be
|
||
quite absurd for her to carry it further.
|
||
|
||
So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to
|
||
see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,'
|
||
she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:
|
||
but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began
|
||
thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as
|
||
pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right
|
||
way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing
|
||
the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.
|
||
|
||
The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-
|
||
natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great
|
||
many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.
|
||
|
||
`Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at
|
||
all know whether it would like the name: however, it only
|
||
grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought
|
||
Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I
|
||
ought to go from here?'
|
||
|
||
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said
|
||
the Cat.
|
||
|
||
`I don't much care where--' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
|
||
|
||
`--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
|
||
|
||
`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk
|
||
long enough.'
|
||
|
||
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
|
||
question. `What sort of people live about here?'
|
||
|
||
`In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round,
|
||
`lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw,
|
||
`lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
|
||
|
||
`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
|
||
|
||
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here.
|
||
I'm mad. You're mad.'
|
||
|
||
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
|
||
|
||
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on
|
||
`And how do you know that you're mad?'
|
||
|
||
`To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant
|
||
that?'
|
||
|
||
`I suppose so,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's
|
||
angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm
|
||
pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'
|
||
|
||
`I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet
|
||
with the Queen to-day?'
|
||
|
||
`I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been
|
||
invited yet.'
|
||
|
||
`You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.
|
||
|
||
Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used
|
||
to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place
|
||
where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.
|
||
|
||
`By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd
|
||
nearly forgotten to ask.'
|
||
|
||
`It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had
|
||
come back in a natural way.
|
||
|
||
`I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.
|
||
|
||
Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it
|
||
did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the
|
||
direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen
|
||
hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be
|
||
much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be
|
||
raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said
|
||
this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a
|
||
branch of a tree.
|
||
|
||
`Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.
|
||
|
||
`I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep
|
||
appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'
|
||
|
||
`All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite
|
||
slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the
|
||
grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
|
||
|
||
`Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;
|
||
`but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever
|
||
say in my life!'
|
||
|
||
She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the
|
||
house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house,
|
||
because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was
|
||
thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not
|
||
like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand
|
||
bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even
|
||
then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself
|
||
`Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd
|
||
gone to see the Hatter instead!'
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER VII
|
||
|
||
A Mad Tea-Party
|
||
|
||
|
||
There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,
|
||
and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a
|
||
Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two
|
||
were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the
|
||
talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'
|
||
thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'
|
||
|
||
The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded
|
||
together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried
|
||
out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said
|
||
Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one
|
||
end of the table.
|
||
|
||
`Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
|
||
|
||
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it
|
||
but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked.
|
||
|
||
`There isn't any,' said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
`Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice
|
||
angrily.
|
||
|
||
`It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being
|
||
invited,' said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
`I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a
|
||
great many more than three.'
|
||
|
||
`Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been
|
||
looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was
|
||
his first speech.
|
||
|
||
`You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said
|
||
with some severity; `it's very rude.'
|
||
|
||
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all
|
||
he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
|
||
|
||
`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad
|
||
they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she
|
||
added aloud.
|
||
|
||
`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?'
|
||
said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
`Exactly so,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
|
||
|
||
`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what
|
||
I say--that's the same thing, you know.'
|
||
|
||
`Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just
|
||
as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat
|
||
what I see"!'
|
||
|
||
`You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I
|
||
like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
|
||
|
||
`You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to
|
||
be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the
|
||
same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'
|
||
|
||
`It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the
|
||
conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute,
|
||
while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and
|
||
writing-desks, which wasn't much.
|
||
|
||
The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of
|
||
the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his
|
||
watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking
|
||
it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
|
||
|
||
Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'
|
||
|
||
`Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter
|
||
wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March
|
||
Hare.
|
||
|
||
`It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.
|
||
|
||
`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter
|
||
grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'
|
||
|
||
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then
|
||
he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he
|
||
could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It
|
||
was the BEST butter, you know.'
|
||
|
||
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
|
||
`What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the
|
||
month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'
|
||
|
||
`Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell
|
||
you what year it is?'
|
||
|
||
`Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's
|
||
because it stays the same year for such a long time together.'
|
||
|
||
`Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.
|
||
|
||
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to
|
||
have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.
|
||
`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she
|
||
could.
|
||
|
||
`The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured
|
||
a little hot tea upon its nose.
|
||
|
||
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without
|
||
opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to
|
||
remark myself.'
|
||
|
||
`Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to
|
||
Alice again.
|
||
|
||
`No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?'
|
||
|
||
`I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.
|
||
|
||
`Nor I,' said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better
|
||
with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that
|
||
have no answers.'
|
||
|
||
`If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you
|
||
wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.'
|
||
|
||
`I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head
|
||
contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'
|
||
|
||
`Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to
|
||
beat time when I learn music.'
|
||
|
||
`Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand
|
||
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do
|
||
almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose
|
||
it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:
|
||
you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the
|
||
clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'
|
||
|
||
(`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a
|
||
whisper.)
|
||
|
||
`That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:
|
||
`but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'
|
||
|
||
`Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep
|
||
it to half-past one as long as you liked.'
|
||
|
||
`Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.
|
||
|
||
The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied.
|
||
`We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--'
|
||
(pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the
|
||
great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing
|
||
|
||
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
|
||
How I wonder what you're at!"
|
||
|
||
You know the song, perhaps?'
|
||
|
||
`I've heard something like it,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:--
|
||
|
||
"Up above the world you fly,
|
||
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
|
||
Twinkle, twinkle--"'
|
||
|
||
Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep
|
||
`Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that
|
||
they had to pinch it to make it stop.
|
||
|
||
`Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,
|
||
`when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the
|
||
time! Off with his head!"'
|
||
|
||
`How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.
|
||
|
||
`And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
|
||
`he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'
|
||
|
||
A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so
|
||
many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.
|
||
|
||
`Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always
|
||
tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'
|
||
|
||
`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.'
|
||
|
||
`But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice
|
||
ventured to ask.
|
||
|
||
`Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,
|
||
yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady
|
||
tells us a story.'
|
||
|
||
`I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at
|
||
the proposal.
|
||
|
||
`Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up,
|
||
Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once.
|
||
|
||
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he
|
||
said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows
|
||
were saying.'
|
||
|
||
`Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
`Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.
|
||
|
||
`And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep
|
||
again before it's done.'
|
||
|
||
`Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the
|
||
Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie,
|
||
Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'
|
||
|
||
`What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great
|
||
interest in questions of eating and drinking.
|
||
|
||
`They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a
|
||
minute or two.
|
||
|
||
`They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently
|
||
remarked; `they'd have been ill.'
|
||
|
||
`So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.'
|
||
|
||
Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways
|
||
of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went
|
||
on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
|
||
|
||
`Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very
|
||
earnestly.
|
||
|
||
`I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so
|
||
I can't take more.'
|
||
|
||
`You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very
|
||
easy to take MORE than nothing.'
|
||
|
||
`Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked
|
||
triumphantly.
|
||
|
||
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped
|
||
herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the
|
||
Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the
|
||
bottom of a well?'
|
||
|
||
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
|
||
then said, `It was a treacle-well.'
|
||
|
||
`There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but
|
||
the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse
|
||
sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the
|
||
story for yourself.'
|
||
|
||
`No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt
|
||
again. I dare say there may be ONE.'
|
||
|
||
`One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
|
||
consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they
|
||
were learning to draw, you know--'
|
||
|
||
`What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
|
||
|
||
`Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this
|
||
time.
|
||
|
||
`I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move
|
||
one place on.'
|
||
|
||
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the
|
||
March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather
|
||
unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the
|
||
only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a
|
||
good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset
|
||
the milk-jug into his plate.
|
||
|
||
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
|
||
very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw
|
||
the treacle from?'
|
||
|
||
`You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so
|
||
I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,
|
||
stupid?'
|
||
|
||
`But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not
|
||
choosing to notice this last remark.
|
||
|
||
`Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.'
|
||
|
||
This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse
|
||
go on for some time without interrupting it.
|
||
|
||
`They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and
|
||
rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew
|
||
all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--'
|
||
|
||
`Why with an M?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Why not?' said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
Alice was silent.
|
||
|
||
The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going
|
||
off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up
|
||
again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an
|
||
M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--
|
||
you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever
|
||
see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'
|
||
|
||
`Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I
|
||
don't think--'
|
||
|
||
`Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.
|
||
|
||
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got
|
||
up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep
|
||
instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her
|
||
going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that
|
||
they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were
|
||
trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
|
||
|
||
`At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she
|
||
picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I
|
||
ever was at in all my life!'
|
||
|
||
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a
|
||
door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought.
|
||
`But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at
|
||
once.' And in she went.
|
||
|
||
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the
|
||
little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she
|
||
said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and
|
||
unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to
|
||
work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her
|
||
pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the
|
||
little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the
|
||
beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
|
||
fountains.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER VIII
|
||
|
||
The Queen's Croquet-Ground
|
||
|
||
|
||
A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the
|
||
roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at
|
||
it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious
|
||
thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up
|
||
to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go
|
||
splashing paint over me like that!'
|
||
|
||
`I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged
|
||
my elbow.'
|
||
|
||
On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always
|
||
lay the blame on others!'
|
||
|
||
`YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only
|
||
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'
|
||
|
||
`What for?' said the one who had spoken first.
|
||
|
||
`That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.
|
||
|
||
`Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it
|
||
was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'
|
||
|
||
Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all
|
||
the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as
|
||
she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the
|
||
others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.
|
||
|
||
`Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are
|
||
painting those roses?'
|
||
|
||
Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a
|
||
low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
|
||
have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;
|
||
and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads
|
||
cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore
|
||
she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously
|
||
looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!'
|
||
and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon
|
||
their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice
|
||
looked round, eager to see the Queen.
|
||
|
||
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped
|
||
like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and
|
||
feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were
|
||
ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the
|
||
soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were
|
||
ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand
|
||
in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next
|
||
came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice
|
||
recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous
|
||
manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without
|
||
noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the
|
||
King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this
|
||
grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.
|
||
|
||
Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on
|
||
her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember
|
||
every having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides,
|
||
what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people
|
||
had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see
|
||
it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.
|
||
|
||
When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped
|
||
and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?'
|
||
She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in
|
||
reply.
|
||
|
||
`Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,
|
||
turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?'
|
||
|
||
`My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very
|
||
politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of
|
||
cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'
|
||
|
||
`And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three
|
||
gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as
|
||
they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs
|
||
was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
|
||
they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her
|
||
own children.
|
||
|
||
`How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
|
||
`It's no business of MINE.'
|
||
|
||
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her
|
||
for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head!
|
||
Off--'
|
||
|
||
`Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the
|
||
Queen was silent.
|
||
|
||
The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said
|
||
`Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'
|
||
|
||
The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave
|
||
`Turn them over!'
|
||
|
||
The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
|
||
|
||
`Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the
|
||
three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the
|
||
King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.
|
||
|
||
`Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.'
|
||
And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you
|
||
been doing here?'
|
||
|
||
`May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,
|
||
going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--'
|
||
|
||
`I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the
|
||
roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on,
|
||
three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
|
||
gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.
|
||
|
||
`You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a
|
||
large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered
|
||
about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly
|
||
marched off after the others.
|
||
|
||
`Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.
|
||
|
||
`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers
|
||
shouted in reply.
|
||
|
||
`That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'
|
||
|
||
The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question
|
||
was evidently meant for her.
|
||
|
||
`Yes!' shouted Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the
|
||
procession, wondering very much what would happen next.
|
||
|
||
`It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.
|
||
She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously
|
||
into her face.
|
||
|
||
`Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?'
|
||
|
||
`Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
|
||
looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised
|
||
himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and
|
||
whispered `She's under sentence of execution.'
|
||
|
||
`What for?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.
|
||
|
||
`No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity.
|
||
I said "What for?"'
|
||
|
||
`She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a
|
||
little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a
|
||
frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came
|
||
rather late, and the Queen said--'
|
||
|
||
`Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,
|
||
and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up
|
||
against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or
|
||
two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a
|
||
curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and
|
||
furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live
|
||
flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to
|
||
stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
|
||
|
||
The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her
|
||
flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,
|
||
comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,
|
||
but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened
|
||
out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it
|
||
WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a
|
||
puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:
|
||
and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again,
|
||
it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled
|
||
itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this,
|
||
there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she
|
||
wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers
|
||
were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the
|
||
ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very
|
||
difficult game indeed.
|
||
|
||
The players all played at once without waiting for turns,
|
||
quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in
|
||
a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went
|
||
stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with
|
||
her head!' about once in a minute.
|
||
|
||
Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as
|
||
yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might
|
||
happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of
|
||
me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great
|
||
wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'
|
||
|
||
She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
|
||
whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
|
||
curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at
|
||
first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to
|
||
be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I
|
||
shall have somebody to talk to.'
|
||
|
||
`How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was
|
||
mouth enough for it to speak with.
|
||
|
||
Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no
|
||
use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at
|
||
least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared,
|
||
and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the
|
||
game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The
|
||
Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and
|
||
no more of it appeared.
|
||
|
||
`I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather
|
||
a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't
|
||
hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in
|
||
particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and
|
||
you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive;
|
||
for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next
|
||
walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have
|
||
croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it
|
||
saw mine coming!'
|
||
|
||
`How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.
|
||
|
||
`Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then
|
||
she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so
|
||
she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while
|
||
finishing the game.'
|
||
|
||
The Queen smiled and passed on.
|
||
|
||
`Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and
|
||
looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.
|
||
|
||
`It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me
|
||
to introduce it.'
|
||
|
||
`I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however,
|
||
it may kiss my hand if it likes.'
|
||
|
||
`I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.
|
||
|
||
`Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me
|
||
like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.
|
||
|
||
`A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in
|
||
some book, but I don't remember where.'
|
||
|
||
`Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and
|
||
he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I
|
||
wish you would have this cat removed!'
|
||
|
||
The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
|
||
or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking
|
||
round.
|
||
|
||
`I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and
|
||
he hurried off.
|
||
|
||
Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game
|
||
was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,
|
||
screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three
|
||
of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and
|
||
she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in
|
||
such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or
|
||
not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.
|
||
|
||
The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,
|
||
which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one
|
||
of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her
|
||
flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where
|
||
Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up
|
||
into a tree.
|
||
|
||
By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,
|
||
the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:
|
||
`but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches
|
||
are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away
|
||
under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for
|
||
a little more conversation with her friend.
|
||
|
||
When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to
|
||
find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute
|
||
going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who
|
||
were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,
|
||
and looked very uncomfortable.
|
||
|
||
The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to
|
||
settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,
|
||
though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed
|
||
to make out exactly what they said.
|
||
|
||
The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a
|
||
head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had
|
||
never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin
|
||
at HIS time of life.
|
||
|
||
The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be
|
||
beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.
|
||
|
||
The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about
|
||
it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round.
|
||
(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so
|
||
grave and anxious.)
|
||
|
||
Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the
|
||
Duchess: you'd better ask HER about it.'
|
||
|
||
`She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch
|
||
her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow.
|
||
|
||
The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,
|
||
by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely
|
||
disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and
|
||
down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER IX
|
||
|
||
The Mock Turtle's Story
|
||
|
||
|
||
`You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old
|
||
thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately
|
||
into Alice's, and they walked off together.
|
||
|
||
Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and
|
||
thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had
|
||
made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.
|
||
|
||
`When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very
|
||
hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT
|
||
ALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that
|
||
makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at
|
||
having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them
|
||
sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar
|
||
and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish
|
||
people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you
|
||
know--'
|
||
|
||
She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a
|
||
little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.
|
||
`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you
|
||
forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that
|
||
is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'
|
||
|
||
`Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.
|
||
|
||
`Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a
|
||
moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up
|
||
closer to Alice's side as she spoke.
|
||
|
||
Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first,
|
||
because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was
|
||
exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,
|
||
and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not
|
||
like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.
|
||
|
||
`The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of
|
||
keeping up the conversation a little.
|
||
|
||
`'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh,
|
||
'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'
|
||
|
||
`Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody
|
||
minding their own business!'
|
||
|
||
`Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,
|
||
digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,
|
||
`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the
|
||
sounds will take care of themselves."'
|
||
|
||
`How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to
|
||
herself.
|
||
|
||
`I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your
|
||
waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm
|
||
doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the
|
||
experiment?'
|
||
|
||
`HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all
|
||
anxious to have the experiment tried.
|
||
|
||
`Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both
|
||
bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock
|
||
together."'
|
||
|
||
`Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.
|
||
|
||
`Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you
|
||
have of putting things!'
|
||
|
||
`It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree
|
||
to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near
|
||
here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the
|
||
less there is of yours."'
|
||
|
||
`Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this
|
||
last remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it
|
||
is.'
|
||
|
||
`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of
|
||
that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put
|
||
more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than
|
||
what it might appear to others that what you were or might have
|
||
been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared
|
||
to them to be otherwise."'
|
||
|
||
`I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very
|
||
politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it
|
||
as you say it.'
|
||
|
||
`That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess
|
||
replied, in a pleased tone.
|
||
|
||
`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'
|
||
said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you
|
||
a present of everything I've said as yet.'
|
||
|
||
`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't
|
||
give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to
|
||
say it out loud.
|
||
|
||
`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her
|
||
sharp little chin.
|
||
|
||
`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was
|
||
beginning to feel a little worried.
|
||
|
||
`Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to
|
||
fly; and the m--'
|
||
|
||
But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died
|
||
away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the
|
||
arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up,
|
||
and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,
|
||
frowning like a thunderstorm.
|
||
|
||
`A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak
|
||
voice.
|
||
|
||
`Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on
|
||
the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off,
|
||
and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'
|
||
|
||
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.
|
||
|
||
`Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice
|
||
was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her
|
||
back to the croquet-ground.
|
||
|
||
The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,
|
||
and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her,
|
||
they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a
|
||
moment's delay would cost them their lives.
|
||
|
||
All the time they were playing the Queen never left off
|
||
quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his
|
||
head!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were
|
||
taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave
|
||
off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour
|
||
or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the
|
||
King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of
|
||
execution.
|
||
|
||
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to
|
||
Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'
|
||
|
||
`No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'
|
||
|
||
`It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.
|
||
|
||
`I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his
|
||
history,'
|
||
|
||
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low
|
||
voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come,
|
||
THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite
|
||
unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.
|
||
|
||
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the
|
||
sun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)
|
||
`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to
|
||
see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and
|
||
see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,
|
||
leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like
|
||
the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would
|
||
be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage
|
||
Queen: so she waited.
|
||
|
||
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the
|
||
Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!'
|
||
said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.
|
||
|
||
`What IS the fun?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they
|
||
never executes nobody, you know. Come on!'
|
||
|
||
`Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went
|
||
slowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life,
|
||
never!'
|
||
|
||
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the
|
||
distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,
|
||
as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart
|
||
would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' she
|
||
asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the
|
||
same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got
|
||
no sorrow, you know. Come on!'
|
||
|
||
So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with
|
||
large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.
|
||
|
||
`This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to
|
||
know your history, she do.'
|
||
|
||
`I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow
|
||
tone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've
|
||
finished.'
|
||
|
||
So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice
|
||
thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he
|
||
doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.
|
||
|
||
`Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was
|
||
a real Turtle.'
|
||
|
||
These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only
|
||
by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and
|
||
the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very
|
||
nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your
|
||
interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be
|
||
more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.
|
||
|
||
`When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more
|
||
calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to
|
||
school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call
|
||
him Tortoise--'
|
||
|
||
`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.
|
||
|
||
`We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock
|
||
Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!'
|
||
|
||
`You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
|
||
question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and
|
||
looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At
|
||
last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow!
|
||
Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:
|
||
|
||
`Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe
|
||
it--'
|
||
|
||
`I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.
|
||
|
||
`You did,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
||
|
||
`Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak
|
||
again. The Mock Turtle went on.
|
||
|
||
`We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school
|
||
every day--'
|
||
|
||
`I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be
|
||
so proud as all that.'
|
||
|
||
`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
|
||
|
||
`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'
|
||
|
||
`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.
|
||
|
||
`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.
|
||
|
||
`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock
|
||
Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the
|
||
end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'
|
||
|
||
`You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the
|
||
bottom of the sea.'
|
||
|
||
`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a
|
||
sigh. `I only took the regular course.'
|
||
|
||
`What was that?' inquired Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock
|
||
Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic--
|
||
Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'
|
||
|
||
`I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What
|
||
is it?'
|
||
|
||
The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never
|
||
heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify
|
||
is, I suppose?'
|
||
|
||
`Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--
|
||
prettier.'
|
||
|
||
`Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to
|
||
uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'
|
||
|
||
Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about
|
||
it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you
|
||
to learn?'
|
||
|
||
`Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting
|
||
off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,
|
||
with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old
|
||
conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us
|
||
Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'
|
||
|
||
`What was THAT like?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm
|
||
too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'
|
||
|
||
`Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics
|
||
master, though. He was an old crab, HE was.'
|
||
|
||
`I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he
|
||
taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'
|
||
|
||
`So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;
|
||
and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.
|
||
|
||
`And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a
|
||
hurry to change the subject.
|
||
|
||
`Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the
|
||
next, and so on.'
|
||
|
||
`What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.
|
||
|
||
`That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon
|
||
remarked: `because they lessen from day to day.'
|
||
|
||
This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a
|
||
little before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day
|
||
must have been a holiday?'
|
||
|
||
`Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
||
|
||
`And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.
|
||
|
||
`That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a
|
||
very decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.'
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER X
|
||
|
||
The Lobster Quadrille
|
||
|
||
|
||
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper
|
||
across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for
|
||
a minute or two sobs choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone
|
||
in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him
|
||
and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered
|
||
his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on
|
||
again:--
|
||
|
||
`You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,'
|
||
said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--'
|
||
(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily,
|
||
and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful
|
||
thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'
|
||
|
||
`No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?'
|
||
|
||
`Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the
|
||
sea-shore--'
|
||
|
||
`Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon,
|
||
and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of
|
||
the way--'
|
||
|
||
`THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`--you advance twice--'
|
||
|
||
`Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to
|
||
partners--'
|
||
|
||
`--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the
|
||
Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'
|
||
|
||
`The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
|
||
|
||
`--as far out to sea as you can--'
|
||
|
||
`Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,
|
||
capering wildly about.
|
||
|
||
`Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the
|
||
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures,
|
||
who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat
|
||
down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.
|
||
|
||
`It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.
|
||
|
||
`Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.
|
||
|
||
`Very much indeed,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the
|
||
Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall
|
||
sing?'
|
||
|
||
`Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.'
|
||
|
||
So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now
|
||
and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and
|
||
waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle
|
||
sang this, very slowly and sadly:--
|
||
|
||
|
||
`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.
|
||
"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my
|
||
tail.
|
||
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
|
||
They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the
|
||
dance?
|
||
|
||
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
|
||
dance?
|
||
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the
|
||
dance?
|
||
|
||
|
||
"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
|
||
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to
|
||
sea!"
|
||
But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look
|
||
askance--
|
||
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the
|
||
dance.
|
||
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join
|
||
the dance.
|
||
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join
|
||
the dance.
|
||
|
||
`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
|
||
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
|
||
The further off from England the nearer is to France--
|
||
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
|
||
|
||
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
|
||
dance?
|
||
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the
|
||
dance?"'
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
`Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said
|
||
Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so
|
||
like that curious song about the whiting!'
|
||
|
||
`Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've
|
||
seen them, of course?'
|
||
|
||
`Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she
|
||
checked herself hastily.
|
||
|
||
`I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but
|
||
if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're
|
||
like.'
|
||
|
||
`I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their
|
||
tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'
|
||
|
||
`You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle:
|
||
`crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails
|
||
in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle
|
||
yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all
|
||
that,' he said to the Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with
|
||
the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So
|
||
they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in
|
||
their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.'
|
||
|
||
`Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew
|
||
so much about a whiting before.'
|
||
|
||
`I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the
|
||
Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?'
|
||
|
||
`I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?'
|
||
|
||
`IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very
|
||
solemnly.
|
||
|
||
Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she
|
||
repeated in a wondering tone.
|
||
|
||
`Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I
|
||
mean, what makes them so shiny?'
|
||
|
||
Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she
|
||
gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.'
|
||
|
||
`Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep
|
||
voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.'
|
||
|
||
`And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great
|
||
curiosity.
|
||
|
||
`Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather
|
||
impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.'
|
||
|
||
`If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were
|
||
still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep
|
||
back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"'
|
||
|
||
`They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle
|
||
said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'
|
||
|
||
`Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.
|
||
|
||
`Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came
|
||
to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With
|
||
what porpoise?"'
|
||
|
||
`Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended
|
||
tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR
|
||
adventures.'
|
||
|
||
`I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,'
|
||
said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to
|
||
yesterday, because I was a different person then.'
|
||
|
||
`Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
||
|
||
`No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an
|
||
impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.'
|
||
|
||
So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when
|
||
she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about
|
||
it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on
|
||
each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she
|
||
gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly
|
||
quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD,
|
||
FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming
|
||
different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said
|
||
`That's very curious.'
|
||
|
||
`It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated
|
||
thoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat
|
||
something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as
|
||
if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said
|
||
the Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat
|
||
lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.'
|
||
However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so
|
||
full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was
|
||
saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
|
||
|
||
`'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
|
||
"You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
|
||
As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
|
||
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
|
||
|
||
[later editions continued as follows
|
||
When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
|
||
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,
|
||
But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
|
||
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]
|
||
|
||
`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,'
|
||
said the Gryphon.
|
||
|
||
`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it
|
||
sounds uncommon nonsense.'
|
||
|
||
Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her
|
||
hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way
|
||
again.
|
||
|
||
`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
||
|
||
`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with
|
||
the next verse.'
|
||
|
||
`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD
|
||
he turn them out with his nose, you know?'
|
||
|
||
`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was
|
||
dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the
|
||
subject.
|
||
|
||
`Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:
|
||
`it begins "I passed by his garden."'
|
||
|
||
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would
|
||
all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--
|
||
|
||
`I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
|
||
How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'
|
||
|
||
[later editions continued as follows
|
||
The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
|
||
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
|
||
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
|
||
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
|
||
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
|
||
And concluded the banquet--]
|
||
|
||
`What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle
|
||
interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far
|
||
the most confusing thing I ever heard!'
|
||
|
||
`Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and
|
||
Alice was only too glad to do so.
|
||
|
||
`Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the
|
||
Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you
|
||
a song?'
|
||
|
||
`Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,'
|
||
Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather
|
||
offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle
|
||
Soup," will you, old fellow?'
|
||
|
||
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes
|
||
choked with sobs, to sing this:--
|
||
|
||
|
||
`Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
|
||
Waiting in a hot tureen!
|
||
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
|
||
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
|
||
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
|
||
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
||
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
||
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
|
||
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
|
||
|
||
`Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
|
||
Game, or any other dish?
|
||
Who would not give all else for two p
|
||
ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
|
||
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
|
||
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
||
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
||
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
|
||
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'
|
||
|
||
`Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had
|
||
just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!'
|
||
was heard in the distance.
|
||
|
||
`Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand,
|
||
it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.
|
||
|
||
`What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon
|
||
only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more
|
||
faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the
|
||
melancholy words:--
|
||
|
||
`Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
|
||
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XI
|
||
|
||
Who Stole the Tarts?
|
||
|
||
|
||
The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when
|
||
they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts
|
||
of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:
|
||
the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on
|
||
each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit,
|
||
with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the
|
||
other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large
|
||
dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice
|
||
quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,'
|
||
she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed
|
||
to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about
|
||
her, to pass away the time.
|
||
|
||
Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had
|
||
read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that
|
||
she knew the name of nearly everything there. `That's the
|
||
judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.'
|
||
|
||
The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown
|
||
over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he
|
||
did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly
|
||
not becoming.
|
||
|
||
`And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve
|
||
creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because
|
||
some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they
|
||
are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over
|
||
to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and
|
||
rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the
|
||
meaning of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have done just
|
||
as well.
|
||
|
||
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.
|
||
`What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They
|
||
can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.'
|
||
|
||
`They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in
|
||
reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the
|
||
trial.'
|
||
|
||
`Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but
|
||
she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in
|
||
the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked
|
||
anxiously round, to make out who was talking.
|
||
|
||
Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their
|
||
shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!'
|
||
on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them
|
||
didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his
|
||
neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in
|
||
before the trial's over!' thought Alice.
|
||
|
||
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course,
|
||
Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got
|
||
behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it
|
||
away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was
|
||
Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of
|
||
it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write
|
||
with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very
|
||
little use, as it left no mark on the slate.
|
||
|
||
`Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.
|
||
|
||
On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and
|
||
then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--
|
||
|
||
`The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
|
||
All on a summer day:
|
||
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
|
||
And took them quite away!'
|
||
|
||
`Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.
|
||
|
||
`Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's
|
||
a great deal to come before that!'
|
||
|
||
`Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit
|
||
blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First
|
||
witness!'
|
||
|
||
The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in
|
||
one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg
|
||
pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in: but I
|
||
hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'
|
||
|
||
`You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you
|
||
begin?'
|
||
|
||
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into
|
||
the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I
|
||
think it was,' he said.
|
||
|
||
`Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
`Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.
|
||
|
||
`Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury
|
||
eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then
|
||
added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
|
||
|
||
`Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.
|
||
|
||
`It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.
|
||
|
||
`Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who
|
||
instantly made a memorandum of the fact.
|
||
|
||
`I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation;
|
||
`I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.'
|
||
|
||
Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the
|
||
Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
|
||
|
||
`Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or
|
||
I'll have you executed on the spot.'
|
||
|
||
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept
|
||
shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the
|
||
Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his
|
||
teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.
|
||
|
||
Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which
|
||
puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was
|
||
beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she
|
||
would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she
|
||
decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for
|
||
her.
|
||
|
||
`I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was
|
||
sitting next to her. `I can hardly breathe.'
|
||
|
||
`I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.'
|
||
|
||
`You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.
|
||
|
||
`Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know
|
||
you're growing too.'
|
||
|
||
`Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse:
|
||
`not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily
|
||
and crossed over to the other side of the court.
|
||
|
||
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the
|
||
Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to
|
||
one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the
|
||
singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter
|
||
trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.
|
||
|
||
`Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have
|
||
you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'
|
||
|
||
`I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a
|
||
trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week
|
||
or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and
|
||
the twinkling of the tea--'
|
||
|
||
`The twinkling of the what?' said the King.
|
||
|
||
`It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.
|
||
|
||
`Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply.
|
||
`Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'
|
||
|
||
`I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things
|
||
twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'
|
||
|
||
`I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.
|
||
|
||
`You did!' said the Hatter.
|
||
|
||
`I deny it!' said the March Hare.
|
||
|
||
`He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.'
|
||
|
||
`Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,
|
||
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the
|
||
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.
|
||
|
||
`After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread-
|
||
and-butter--'
|
||
|
||
`But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.
|
||
|
||
`That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.
|
||
|
||
`You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you
|
||
executed.'
|
||
|
||
The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,
|
||
and went down on one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he
|
||
began.
|
||
|
||
`You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.
|
||
|
||
Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately
|
||
suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a
|
||
hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had
|
||
a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings:
|
||
into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat
|
||
upon it.)
|
||
|
||
`I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often
|
||
read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some
|
||
attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the
|
||
officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant
|
||
till now.'
|
||
|
||
`If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'
|
||
continued the King.
|
||
|
||
`I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as
|
||
it is.'
|
||
|
||
`Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.
|
||
|
||
Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.
|
||
|
||
`Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we
|
||
shall get on better.'
|
||
|
||
`I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious
|
||
look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.
|
||
|
||
`You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the
|
||
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.
|
||
|
||
`--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one
|
||
of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the
|
||
officer could get to the door.
|
||
|
||
`Call the next witness!' said the King.
|
||
|
||
The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the
|
||
pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before
|
||
she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began
|
||
sneezing all at once.
|
||
|
||
`Give your evidence,' said the King.
|
||
|
||
`Shan't,' said the cook.
|
||
|
||
The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a
|
||
low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'
|
||
|
||
`Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy
|
||
air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till
|
||
his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What
|
||
are tarts made of?'
|
||
|
||
`Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.
|
||
|
||
`Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.
|
||
|
||
`Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that
|
||
Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch
|
||
him! Off with his whiskers!'
|
||
|
||
For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the
|
||
Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down
|
||
again, the cook had disappeared.
|
||
|
||
`Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.
|
||
`Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the
|
||
Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness.
|
||
It quite makes my forehead ache!'
|
||
|
||
Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list,
|
||
feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,
|
||
`--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself.
|
||
Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top
|
||
of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!'
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XII
|
||
|
||
Alice's Evidence
|
||
|
||
|
||
`Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the
|
||
moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she
|
||
jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with
|
||
the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads
|
||
of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding
|
||
her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset
|
||
the week before.
|
||
|
||
`Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great
|
||
dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could,
|
||
for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and
|
||
she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once
|
||
and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
|
||
|
||
`The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave
|
||
voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--
|
||
ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as
|
||
he said do.
|
||
|
||
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she
|
||
had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing
|
||
was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable
|
||
to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that
|
||
it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it
|
||
would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'
|
||
|
||
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of
|
||
being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and
|
||
handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write
|
||
out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed
|
||
too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,
|
||
gazing up into the roof of the court.
|
||
|
||
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to
|
||
Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Nothing,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.
|
||
|
||
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.
|
||
They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when
|
||
the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means,
|
||
of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and
|
||
making faces at him as he spoke.
|
||
|
||
`UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and
|
||
went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant--
|
||
unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word
|
||
sounded best.
|
||
|
||
Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some
|
||
`unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to
|
||
look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she
|
||
thought to herself.
|
||
|
||
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily
|
||
writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out
|
||
from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE
|
||
HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'
|
||
|
||
Everybody looked at Alice.
|
||
|
||
`I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`You are,' said the King.
|
||
|
||
`Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.
|
||
|
||
`Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides,
|
||
that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'
|
||
|
||
`It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.
|
||
|
||
`Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.
|
||
`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling
|
||
voice.
|
||
|
||
`There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said
|
||
the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has
|
||
just been picked up.'
|
||
|
||
`What's in it?' said the Queen.
|
||
|
||
`I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems
|
||
to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'
|
||
|
||
`It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was
|
||
written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'
|
||
|
||
`Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.
|
||
|
||
`It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact,
|
||
there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper
|
||
as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set
|
||
of verses.'
|
||
|
||
`Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of
|
||
they jurymen.
|
||
|
||
`No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the
|
||
queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
|
||
|
||
`He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.
|
||
(The jury all brightened up again.)
|
||
|
||
`Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and
|
||
they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'
|
||
|
||
`If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the
|
||
matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd
|
||
have signed your name like an honest man.'
|
||
|
||
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the
|
||
first really clever thing the King had said that day.
|
||
|
||
`That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.
|
||
|
||
`It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't
|
||
even know what they're about!'
|
||
|
||
`Read them,' said the King.
|
||
|
||
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin,
|
||
please your Majesty?' he asked.
|
||
|
||
`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on
|
||
till you come to the end: then stop.'
|
||
|
||
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--
|
||
|
||
`They told me you had been to her,
|
||
And mentioned me to him:
|
||
She gave me a good character,
|
||
But said I could not swim.
|
||
|
||
He sent them word I had not gone
|
||
(We know it to be true):
|
||
If she should push the matter on,
|
||
What would become of you?
|
||
|
||
I gave her one, they gave him two,
|
||
You gave us three or more;
|
||
They all returned from him to you,
|
||
Though they were mine before.
|
||
|
||
If I or she should chance to be
|
||
Involved in this affair,
|
||
He trusts to you to set them free,
|
||
Exactly as we were.
|
||
|
||
My notion was that you had been
|
||
(Before she had this fit)
|
||
An obstacle that came between
|
||
Him, and ourselves, and it.
|
||
|
||
Don't let him know she liked them best,
|
||
For this must ever be
|
||
A secret, kept from all the rest,
|
||
Between yourself and me.'
|
||
|
||
`That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'
|
||
said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'
|
||
|
||
`If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had
|
||
grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit
|
||
afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't
|
||
believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'
|
||
|
||
The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe
|
||
there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to
|
||
explain the paper.
|
||
|
||
`If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a
|
||
world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And
|
||
yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his
|
||
knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some
|
||
meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you
|
||
can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.
|
||
|
||
The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said.
|
||
(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)
|
||
|
||
`All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering
|
||
over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's
|
||
the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why,
|
||
that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--'
|
||
|
||
`But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said
|
||
Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to
|
||
the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT.
|
||
Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my
|
||
dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.
|
||
|
||
`Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the
|
||
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off
|
||
writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no
|
||
mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was
|
||
trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)
|
||
|
||
`Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round
|
||
the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
|
||
|
||
`It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and
|
||
everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the
|
||
King said, for about the twentieth time that day.
|
||
|
||
`No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'
|
||
|
||
`Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having
|
||
the sentence first!'
|
||
|
||
`Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
|
||
|
||
`I won't!' said Alice.
|
||
|
||
`Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.
|
||
Nobody moved.
|
||
|
||
`Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full
|
||
size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!'
|
||
|
||
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying
|
||
down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half
|
||
of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on
|
||
the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently
|
||
brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the
|
||
trees upon her face.
|
||
|
||
`Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long
|
||
sleep you've had!'
|
||
|
||
`Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told
|
||
her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange
|
||
Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and
|
||
when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a
|
||
curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's
|
||
getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she
|
||
ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
|
||
|
||
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her
|
||
head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of
|
||
little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began
|
||
dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--
|
||
|
||
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the
|
||
tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes
|
||
were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her
|
||
voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back
|
||
the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and
|
||
still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place
|
||
around her became alive the strange creatures of her little
|
||
sister's dream.
|
||
|
||
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried
|
||
by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the
|
||
neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as
|
||
the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,
|
||
and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate
|
||
guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the
|
||
Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once
|
||
more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's
|
||
slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,
|
||
filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable
|
||
Mock Turtle.
|
||
|
||
So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in
|
||
Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and
|
||
all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only
|
||
rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the
|
||
reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-
|
||
bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd
|
||
boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and
|
||
all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the
|
||
confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the
|
||
cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's
|
||
heavy sobs.
|
||
|
||
Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of
|
||
hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how
|
||
she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and
|
||
loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about
|
||
her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager
|
||
with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of
|
||
Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their
|
||
simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,
|
||
remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
|
||
|
||
THE END
|
||
|