diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000000..ddafbc66c2 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,5 @@ +# prevent automatic EOL conversion by git +# on test data, because it will make test +# failed + +tests/extensions/data/* -crlf diff --git a/tests/extensions/data/alice29.txt b/tests/extensions/data/alice29.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000000..703365523b --- /dev/null +++ b/tests/extensions/data/alice29.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3609 @@ + + + + + ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND + + Lewis Carroll + + THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 2.9 + + + + + CHAPTER I + + Down the Rabbit-Hole + + + Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister +on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had +peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no +pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' +thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?' + + So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, +for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether +the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble +of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White +Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. + + There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice +think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to +itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought +it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have +wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); +but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT- +POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to +her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never +before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to +take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the +field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop +down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. + + In another moment down went Alice after it, never once +considering how in the world she was to get out again. + + The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, +and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a +moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself +falling down a very deep well. + + Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she +had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to +wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look +down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to +see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and +noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; +here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She +took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was +labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it +was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing +somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she +fell past it. + + `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I +shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll +all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, +even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely +true.) + + Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I +wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. +`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let +me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for, +you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her +lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good +opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to +listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes, +that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude +or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, +or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to +say.) + + Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right +THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the +people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I +think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this +time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall +have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. +Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried +to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling +through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what +an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll +never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' + + Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon +began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I +should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember +her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were +down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but +you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. +But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get +rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of +way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do +bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either +question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt +that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she +was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very +earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a +bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of +sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. + + Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a +moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her +was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in +sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: +away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it +say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late +it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the +corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found +herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps +hanging from the roof. + + There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; +and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the +other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, +wondering how she was ever to get out again. + + Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of +solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, +and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the +doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or +the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of +them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low +curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little +door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key +in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! + + Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small +passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and +looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. +How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about +among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but +she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if +my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of +very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish +I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only +know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things +had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few +things indeed were really impossible. + + There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she +went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on +it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like +telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which +certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck +of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' +beautifully printed on it in large letters. + + It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little +Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look +first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; +for she had read several nice little histories about children who +had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant +things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules +their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker +will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your +finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had +never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked +`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or +later. + + However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured +to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort +of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast +turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished +it off. + + * * * * * * * + + * * * * * * + + * * * * * * * + + `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up +like a telescope.' + + And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and +her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right +size for going though the little door into that lovely garden. +First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was +going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about +this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my +going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be +like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is +like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember +ever having seen such a thing. + + After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided +on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when +she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden +key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she +could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly +through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the +legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had +tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and +cried. + + `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to +herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' +She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very +seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so +severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered +trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game +of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious +child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no +use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, +there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable +person!' + + Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under +the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on +which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. +`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger, +I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep +under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I +don't care which happens!' + + She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which +way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to +feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to +find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally +happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the +way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, +that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the +common way. + + So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. + + * * * * * * * + + * * * * * * + + * * * * * * * + + + + + CHAPTER II + + The Pool of Tears + + + `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much +surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good +English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that +ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her +feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so +far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on +your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't +be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself +about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be +kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the +way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of +boots every Christmas.' + + And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. +`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll +seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the +directions will look! + + ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. + HEARTHRUG, + NEAR THE FENDER, + (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). + +Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' + + Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in +fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took +up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door. + + Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one +side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get +through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to +cry again. + + `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great +girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in +this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all +the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool +all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the +hall. + + After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the +distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. +It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a +pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the +other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to +himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she +be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate +that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit +came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please, +sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid +gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard +as he could go. + + Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very +hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: +`Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday +things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in +the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this +morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little +different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in +the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began +thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age +as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of +them. + + `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such +long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm +sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, +oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, +and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the +things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, +and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! +I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the +Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. +London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, +and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been +changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' +and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, +and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and +strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:-- + + `How doth the little crocodile + Improve his shining tail, + And pour the waters of the Nile + On every golden scale! + + `How cheerfully he seems to grin, + How neatly spread his claws, + And welcome little fishes in + With gently smiling jaws!' + + `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and +her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel +after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little +house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so +many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm +Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their +heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look +up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I +like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down +here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a +sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads +down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!' + + As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was +surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little +white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done +that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up +and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that, +as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, +and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the +cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it +hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. + +`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at +the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in +existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed +back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut +again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as +before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, +`for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare +it's too bad, that it is!' + + As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another +moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. He first +idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that +case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had +been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general +conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find +a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in +the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and +behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that +she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine +feet high. + + `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, +trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I +suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer +thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.' + + Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a +little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at +first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then +she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that +it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself. + + `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this +mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should +think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in +trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of +this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!' +(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: +she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having +seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a +mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather +inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little +eyes, but it said nothing. + + `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I +daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the +Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had +no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she +began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in +her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the +water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg +your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the +poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' + + `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate +voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?' + + `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be +angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: +I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. +She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, +as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so +nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and +she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital +one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, +for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt +certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any +more if you'd rather not.' + + `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end +of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family +always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear +the name again!' + + `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the +subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' +The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is +such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! +A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly +brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and +it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I +can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you +know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! +He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a +sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the +Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and +making quite a commotion in the pool as it went. + + So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back +again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't +like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam +slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice +thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to +the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll +understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' + + It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded +with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a +Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious +creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the +shore. + + + + CHAPTER III + + A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale + + + They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the +bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their +fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and +uncomfortable. + + The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they +had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed +quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with +them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had +quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, +and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better'; +and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, +and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no +more to be said. + + At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among +them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL +soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large +ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes +anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad +cold if she did not get dry very soon. + + `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? +This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! +"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was +soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been +of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and +Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"' + + `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. + + `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very +politely: `Did you speak?' + + `Not I!' said the Lory hastily. + + `I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and +Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: +and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found +it advisable--"' + + `Found WHAT?' said the Duck. + + `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you +know what "it" means.' + + `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said +the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, +what did the archbishop find?' + + The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, +`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William +and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was +moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you +getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it +spoke. + + `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't +seem to dry me at all.' + + `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I +move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more +energetic remedies--' + + `Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of +half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do +either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: +some of the other birds tittered audibly. + + `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, +`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' + + `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much +to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY +ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. + + `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' +(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter +day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.) + + First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the +exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party +were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One, +two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, +and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know +when the race was over. However, when they had been running half +an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called +out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, +and asking, `But who has won?' + + This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of +thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon +its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, +in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At +last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have +prizes.' + + `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices +asked. + + `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with +one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, +calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!' + + Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand +in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt +water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. +There was exactly one a-piece all round. + + `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. + + `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have +you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. + + `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. + + `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. + + Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo +solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of +this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short +speech, they all cheered. + + Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked +so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not +think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, +looking as solemn as she could. + + The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise +and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not +taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on +the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again +in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more. + + `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, +`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half +afraid that it would be offended again. + + `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to +Alice, and sighing. + + `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with +wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And +she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so +that her idea of the tale was something like this:-- + + `Fury said to a + mouse, That he + met in the + house, + "Let us + both go to + law: I will + prosecute + YOU. --Come, + I'll take no + denial; We + must have a + trial: For + really this + morning I've + nothing + to do." + Said the + mouse to the + cur, "Such + a trial, + dear Sir, + With + no jury + or judge, + would be + wasting + our + breath." + "I'll be + judge, I'll + be jury," + Said + cunning + old Fury: + "I'll + try the + whole + cause, + and + condemn + you + to + death."' + + + `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. +`What are you thinking of?' + + `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to +the fifth bend, I think?' + + `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. + + `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and +looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!' + + `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up +and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!' + + `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily +offended, you know!' + + The Mouse only growled in reply. + + `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after +it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but +the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little +quicker. + + `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it +was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of +saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you +never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the +young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the +patience of an oyster!' + + `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, +addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!' + + `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' +said the Lory. + + Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about +her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for +catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her +after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look +at it!' + + This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. +Some of the birds hurried off at once: one the old Magpie began +wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be +getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary +called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my +dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts +they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. + + `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a +melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm +sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I +wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice +began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. +In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of +footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping +that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to +finish his story. + + + + CHAPTER IV + + The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill + + + It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and +looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; +and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! +Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me +executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have +dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was +looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she +very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were +nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her +swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and +the little door, had vanished completely. + + Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, +and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE +you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of +gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened +that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without +trying to explain the mistake it had made. + + `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. +`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd +better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' +As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door +of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT' +engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried +upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, +and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and +gloves. + + `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going +messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on +messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that +would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready +for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see +that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went +on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering +people about like that!' + + By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with +a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two +or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and +a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when +her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- +glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,' +but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know +SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, +`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this +bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for +really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' + + It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: +before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing +against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being +broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself +`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I +can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so +much!' + + Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and +growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in +another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried +the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the +other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, +as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one +foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more, +whatever happens. What WILL become of me?' + + Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full +effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, +and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting +out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy. + + `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one +wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about +by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that +rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, +this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me! +When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing +never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There +ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when +I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a +sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more +HERE.' + + `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I +am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman- +-but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like +THAT!' + + `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you +learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no +room at all for any lesson-books!' + + And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, +and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few +minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen. + + `Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves +this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the +stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and +she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she +was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no +reason to be afraid of it. + + Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; +but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed +hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it +say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.' + + `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she +fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly +spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not +get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, +and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was +just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something +of the sort. + + Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are +you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then +I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!' + + `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here! +Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) + + `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' + + `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.') + + `An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it +fills the whole window!' + + `Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' + + `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it +away!' + + There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear +whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer +honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at +last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in +the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more +sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there +must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for +pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I +don't want to stay in here any longer!' + + She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at +last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a +good many voice all talking together: she made out the words: +`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; +Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up +at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half +high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular- +-Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind +that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud +crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go +down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't, +then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to +go down the chimney!' + + `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said +Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! +I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is +narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!' + + She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and +waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what +sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close +above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one +sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. + + The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes +Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the +hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold +up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? +What happened to you? Tell us all about it!' + + Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,' +thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm +better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know +is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes +like a sky-rocket!' + + `So you did, old fellow!' said the others. + + `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and +Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set +Dinah at you!' + + There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to +herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any +sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they +began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A +barrowful will do, to begin with.' + + `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to +doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came +rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. +`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out, +`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead +silence. + + Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all +turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright +idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she +thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it +can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I +suppose.' + + So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find +that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small +enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and +found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. +The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by +two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. +They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she +ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a +thick wood. + + `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she +wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again; +and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. +I think that will be the best plan.' + + It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and +simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the +smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering +about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over +her head made her look up in a great hurry. + + An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round +eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. +`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried +hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the +time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it +would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. + + Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of +stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped +into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, +and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice +dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run +over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy +made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in +its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very +like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every +moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle +again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the +stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long +way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat +down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its +mouth, and its great eyes half shut. + + This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; +so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out +of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the +distance. + + `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she +leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself +with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks +very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh +dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let +me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or +drink something or other; but the great question is, what?' + + The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round +her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see +anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under +the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, +about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under +it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her +that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it. + + She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of +the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large +caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, +quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice +of her or of anything else. + + + + CHAPTER V + + Advice from a Caterpillar + + + The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in +silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its +mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. + + `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. + + This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice +replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- +at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think +I must have been changed several times since then.' + + `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. +`Explain yourself!' + + `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because +I'm not myself, you see.' + + `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. + + `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very +politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and +being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.' + + `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. + + `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but +when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you +know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll +feel it a little queer, won't you?' + + `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. + + `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; +`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.' + + `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?' + + Which brought them back again to the beginning of the +conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's +making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, +very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.' + + `Why?' said the Caterpillar. + + Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not +think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in +a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. + + `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something +important to say!' + + This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back +again. + + `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. + + `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as +she could. + + `No,' said the Caterpillar. + + Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else +to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth +hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but +at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth +again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?' + + `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as +I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' + + `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. + + `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it +all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. + + `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. + + Alice folded her hands, and began:-- + + `You are old, Father William,' the young man said, + `And your hair has become very white; + And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- + Do you think, at your age, it is right?' + + `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, + `I feared it might injure the brain; + But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, + Why, I do it again and again.' + + `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before, + And have grown most uncommonly fat; + Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- + Pray, what is the reason of that?' + + `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, + `I kept all my limbs very supple + By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- + Allow me to sell you a couple?' + + `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak + For anything tougher than suet; + Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- + Pray how did you manage to do it?' + + `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law, + And argued each case with my wife; + And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, + Has lasted the rest of my life.' + + `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose + That your eye was as steady as ever; + Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- + What made you so awfully clever?' + + `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' + Said his father; `don't give yourself airs! + Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? + Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' + + + `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. + + `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the +words have got altered.' + + `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar +decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. + + The Caterpillar was the first to speak. + + `What size do you want to be?' it asked. + + `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; +`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.' + + `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. + + Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in +her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. + + `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. + + `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you +wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched +height to be.' + + `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar +angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three +inches high). + + `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. +And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so +easily offended!' + + `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it +put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. + + This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. +In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its +mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got +down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely +remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and +the other side will make you grow shorter.' + + `One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to +herself. + + `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had +asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. + + Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a +minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as +it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. +However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they +would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. + + `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a +little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment +she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her +foot! + + She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but +she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking +rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. +Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was +hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and +managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit. + + + * * * * * * * + + * * * * * * + + * * * * * * * + + `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of +delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she +found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could +see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which +seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay +far below her. + + `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where +HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I +can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no +result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the +distant green leaves. + + As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her +head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted +to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, +like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a +graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which +she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she +had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a +hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating +her violently with its wings. + + `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. + + `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!' + + `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more +subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every +way, and nothing seems to suit them!' + + `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said +Alice. + + `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've +tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but +those serpents! There's no pleasing them!' + + Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no +use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. + + `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the +Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and +day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' + + `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was +beginning to see its meaning. + + `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued +the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was +thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come +wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' + + `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm +a--' + + `Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're +trying to invent something!' + + `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she +remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day. + + `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the +deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my +time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a +serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be +telling me next that you never tasted an egg!' + + `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very +truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as +serpents do, you know.' + + `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why +then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.' + + This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent +for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of +adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and +what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a +serpent?' + + `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm +not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't +want YOURS: I don't like them raw.' + + `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it +settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the +trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled +among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and +untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the +pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very +carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and +growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had +succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. + + It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, +that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a +few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come, +there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes +are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to +another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next +thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be +done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an +open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. +`Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come +upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their +wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did +not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself +down to nine inches high. + + + + CHAPTER VI + + Pig and Pepper + + + For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and +wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came +running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman +because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, +she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door +with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, +with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, +Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their +heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and +crept a little way out of the wood to listen. + + The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great +letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to +the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An +invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman +repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the +words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess +to play croquet.' + + Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled +together. + + Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into +the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped +out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the +ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky. + + Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. + + `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and +that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the +door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise +inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was +a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling +and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish +or kettle had been broken to pieces. + + `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?' + + `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went +on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For +instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let +you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time +he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But +perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so +VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might +answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud. + + `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--' + + At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate +came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just +grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees +behind him. + + `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, +exactly as if nothing had happened. + + `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. + + `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the +first question, you know.' + + It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. +`It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the +creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!' + + The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for +repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he +said, `on and off, for days and days.' + + `But what am I to do?' said Alice. + + `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. + + `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: +`he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. + + The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of +smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a +three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was +leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to +be full of soup. + + `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to +herself, as well as she could for sneezing. + + There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the +Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was +sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The +only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, +and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from +ear to ear. + + `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for +she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to +speak first, `why your cat grins like that?' + + `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. +Pig!' + + She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice +quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed +to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on +again:-- + + `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I +didn't know that cats COULD grin.' + + `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.' + + `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, +feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation. + + `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.' + + Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought +it would be as well to introduce some other subject of +conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took +the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work +throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby +--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, +plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when +they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it +was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. + + `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up +and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS +nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very +nearly carried it off. + + `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a +hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it +does.' + + `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very +glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her +knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day +and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn +round on its axis--' + + `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!' + + Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant +to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and +seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four +hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--' + + `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide +figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again, +singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a +violent shake at the end of every line: + + `Speak roughly to your little boy, + And beat him when he sneezes: + He only does it to annoy, + Because he knows it teases.' + + CHORUS. + + (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- + + `Wow! wow! wow!' + + While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept +tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing +howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- + + `I speak severely to my boy, + I beat him when he sneezes; + For he can thoroughly enjoy + The pepper when he pleases!' + + CHORUS. + + `Wow! wow! wow!' + + `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said +to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and +get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of +the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, +but it just missed her. + + Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- +shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all +directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor +little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, +and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, +so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much +as she could do to hold it. + + As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, +(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep +tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its +undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I +don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure +to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it +behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing +grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't +grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing +yourself.' + + The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into +its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no +doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout +than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for +a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at +all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked +into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. + + No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, +my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do +with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or +grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for +some while in silence. + + Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I +to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted +again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some +alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was +neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be +quite absurd for her to carry it further. + + So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to +see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' +she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: +but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began +thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as +pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right +way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing +the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. + + The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- +natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great +many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. + + `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at +all know whether it would like the name: however, it only +grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought +Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I +ought to go from here?' + + `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said +the Cat. + + `I don't much care where--' said Alice. + + `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. + + `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. + + `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk +long enough.' + + Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another +question. `What sort of people live about here?' + + `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, +`lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, +`lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' + + `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. + + `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. +I'm mad. You're mad.' + + `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. + + `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.' + + Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on +`And how do you know that you're mad?' + + `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant +that?' + + `I suppose so,' said Alice. + + `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's +angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm +pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' + + `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. + + `Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet +with the Queen to-day?' + + `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been +invited yet.' + + `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. + + Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used +to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place +where it had been, it suddenly appeared again. + + `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd +nearly forgotten to ask.' + + `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had +come back in a natural way. + + `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. + + Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it +did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the +direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen +hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be +much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be +raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said +this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a +branch of a tree. + + `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. + + `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep +appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' + + `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite +slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the +grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. + + `Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; +`but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever +say in my life!' + + She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the +house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, +because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was +thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not +like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand +bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even +then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself +`Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd +gone to see the Hatter instead!' + + + + CHAPTER VII + + A Mad Tea-Party + + + There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, +and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a +Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two +were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the +talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' +thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.' + + The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded +together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried +out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said +Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one +end of the table. + + `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. + + Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it +but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked. + + `There isn't any,' said the March Hare. + + `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice +angrily. + + `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being +invited,' said the March Hare. + + `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a +great many more than three.' + + `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been +looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was +his first speech. + + `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said +with some severity; `it's very rude.' + + The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all +he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' + + `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad +they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she +added aloud. + + `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' +said the March Hare. + + `Exactly so,' said Alice. + + `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. + + `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what +I say--that's the same thing, you know.' + + `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just +as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat +what I see"!' + + `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I +like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' + + `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to +be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the +same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!' + + `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the +conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, +while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and +writing-desks, which wasn't much. + + The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of +the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his +watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking +it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. + + Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.' + + `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter +wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March +Hare. + + `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. + + `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter +grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' + + The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then +he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he +could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It +was the BEST butter, you know.' + + Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. +`What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the +month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!' + + `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell +you what year it is?' + + `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's +because it stays the same year for such a long time together.' + + `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. + + Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to +have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. +`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she +could. + + `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured +a little hot tea upon its nose. + + The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without +opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to +remark myself.' + + `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to +Alice again. + + `No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?' + + `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. + + `Nor I,' said the March Hare. + + Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better +with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that +have no answers.' + + `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you +wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.' + + `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. + + `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head +contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' + + `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to +beat time when I learn music.' + + `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand +beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do +almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose +it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: +you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the +clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!' + + (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a +whisper.) + + `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: +`but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' + + `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep +it to half-past one as long as you liked.' + + `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. + + The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied. +`We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' +(pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the +great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing + + "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! + How I wonder what you're at!" + +You know the song, perhaps?' + + `I've heard something like it,' said Alice. + + `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:-- + + "Up above the world you fly, + Like a tea-tray in the sky. + Twinkle, twinkle--"' + +Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep +`Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that +they had to pinch it to make it stop. + + `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, +`when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the +time! Off with his head!"' + + `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. + + `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, +`he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' + + A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so +many tea-things are put out here?' she asked. + + `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always +tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' + + `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. + + `Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.' + + `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice +ventured to ask. + + `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, +yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady +tells us a story.' + + `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at +the proposal. + + `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, +Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once. + + The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he +said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows +were saying.' + + `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. + + `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. + + `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep +again before it's done.' + + `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the +Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, +Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' + + `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great +interest in questions of eating and drinking. + + `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a +minute or two. + + `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently +remarked; `they'd have been ill.' + + `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.' + + Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways +of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went +on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?' + + `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very +earnestly. + + `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so +I can't take more.' + + `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very +easy to take MORE than nothing.' + + `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. + + `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked +triumphantly. + + Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped +herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the +Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the +bottom of a well?' + + The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and +then said, `It was a treacle-well.' + + `There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but +the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse +sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the +story for yourself.' + + `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt +again. I dare say there may be ONE.' + + `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he +consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they +were learning to draw, you know--' + + `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. + + `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this +time. + + `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move +one place on.' + + He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the +March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather +unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the +only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a +good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset +the milk-jug into his plate. + + Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began +very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw +the treacle from?' + + `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so +I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, +stupid?' + + `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not +choosing to notice this last remark. + + `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' + + This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse +go on for some time without interrupting it. + + `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and +rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew +all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--' + + `Why with an M?' said Alice. + + `Why not?' said the March Hare. + + Alice was silent. + + The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going +off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up +again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an +M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- +you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever +see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' + + `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I +don't think--' + + `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. + + This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got +up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep +instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her +going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that +they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were +trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. + + `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she +picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I +ever was at in all my life!' + + Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a +door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. +`But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at +once.' And in she went. + + Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the +little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she +said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and +unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to +work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her +pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the +little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the +beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool +fountains. + + + + CHAPTER VIII + + The Queen's Croquet-Ground + + + A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the +roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at +it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious +thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up +to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go +splashing paint over me like that!' + + `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged +my elbow.' + + On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always +lay the blame on others!' + + `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only +yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!' + + `What for?' said the one who had spoken first. + + `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. + + `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it +was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' + + Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all +the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as +she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the +others looked round also, and all of them bowed low. + + `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are +painting those roses?' + + Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a +low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to +have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; +and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads +cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore +she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously +looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' +and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon +their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice +looked round, eager to see the Queen. + + First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped +like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and +feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were +ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the +soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were +ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand +in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next +came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice +recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous +manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without +noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the +King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this +grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. + + Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on +her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember +every having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides, +what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people +had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see +it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited. + + When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped +and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?' +She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in +reply. + + `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, +turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?' + + `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very +politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of +cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!' + + `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three +gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as +they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs +was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether +they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her +own children. + + `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. +`It's no business of MINE.' + + The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her +for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! +Off--' + + `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the +Queen was silent. + + The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said +`Consider, my dear: she is only a child!' + + The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave +`Turn them over!' + + The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. + + `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the +three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the +King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else. + + `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.' +And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you +been doing here?' + + `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, +going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--' + + `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the +roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, +three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate +gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection. + + `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a +large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered +about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly +marched off after the others. + + `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen. + + `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers +shouted in reply. + + `That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?' + + The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question +was evidently meant for her. + + `Yes!' shouted Alice. + + `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the +procession, wondering very much what would happen next. + + `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. +She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously +into her face. + + `Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?' + + `Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He +looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised +himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and +whispered `She's under sentence of execution.' + + `What for?' said Alice. + + `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked. + + `No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity. +I said "What for?"' + + `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a +little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a +frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came +rather late, and the Queen said--' + + `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, +and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up +against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or +two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a +curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and +furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live +flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to +stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. + + The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her +flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, +comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, +but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened +out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it +WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a +puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: +and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, +it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled +itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, +there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she +wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers +were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the +ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very +difficult game indeed. + + The players all played at once without waiting for turns, +quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in +a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went +stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with +her head!' about once in a minute. + + Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as +yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might +happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of +me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great +wonder is, that there's any one left alive!' + + She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering +whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a +curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at +first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to +be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I +shall have somebody to talk to.' + + `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was +mouth enough for it to speak with. + + Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no +use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at +least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, +and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the +game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The +Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and +no more of it appeared. + + `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather +a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't +hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in +particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and +you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; +for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next +walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have +croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it +saw mine coming!' + + `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice. + + `Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then +she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so +she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while +finishing the game.' + + The Queen smiled and passed on. + + `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and +looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity. + + `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me +to introduce it.' + + `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however, +it may kiss my hand if it likes.' + + `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. + + `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me +like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke. + + `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in +some book, but I don't remember where.' + + `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and +he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I +wish you would have this cat removed!' + + The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great +or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking +round. + + `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and +he hurried off. + + Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game +was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, +screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three +of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and +she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in +such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or +not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. + + The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, +which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one +of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her +flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where +Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up +into a tree. + + By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, +the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: +`but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches +are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away +under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for +a little more conversation with her friend. + + When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to +find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute +going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who +were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, +and looked very uncomfortable. + + The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to +settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, +though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed +to make out exactly what they said. + + The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a +head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had +never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin +at HIS time of life. + + The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be +beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. + + The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about +it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. +(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so +grave and anxious.) + + Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the +Duchess: you'd better ask HER about it.' + + `She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch +her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow. + + The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, +by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely +disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and +down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. + + + + CHAPTER IX + + The Mock Turtle's Story + + + `You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old +thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately +into Alice's, and they walked off together. + + Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and +thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had +made her so savage when they met in the kitchen. + + `When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very +hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT +ALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that +makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at +having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them +sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar +and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish +people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you +know--' + + She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a +little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. +`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you +forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that +is, but I shall remember it in a bit.' + + `Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark. + + `Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a +moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up +closer to Alice's side as she spoke. + + Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, +because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was +exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, +and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not +like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could. + + `The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of +keeping up the conversation a little. + + `'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh, +'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"' + + `Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody +minding their own business!' + + `Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, +digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, +`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the +sounds will take care of themselves."' + + `How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to +herself. + + `I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your +waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm +doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the +experiment?' + + `HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all +anxious to have the experiment tried. + + `Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both +bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock +together."' + + `Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. + + `Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you +have of putting things!' + + `It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice. + + `Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree +to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near +here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the +less there is of yours."' + + `Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this +last remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it +is.' + + `I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of +that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put +more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than +what it might appear to others that what you were or might have +been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared +to them to be otherwise."' + + `I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very +politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it +as you say it.' + + `That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess +replied, in a pleased tone. + + `Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' +said Alice. + + `Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you +a present of everything I've said as yet.' + + `A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't +give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to +say it out loud. + + `Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her +sharp little chin. + + `I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was +beginning to feel a little worried. + + `Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to +fly; and the m--' + + But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died +away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the +arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, +and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, +frowning like a thunderstorm. + + `A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak +voice. + + `Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on +the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off, +and that in about half no time! Take your choice!' + + The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. + + `Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice +was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her +back to the croquet-ground. + + The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, +and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, +they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a +moment's delay would cost them their lives. + + All the time they were playing the Queen never left off +quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his +head!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were +taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave +off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour +or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the +King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of +execution. + + Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to +Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?' + + `No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.' + + `It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen. + + `I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice. + + `Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his +history,' + + As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low +voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come, +THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite +unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered. + + They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the +sun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) +`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to +see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and +see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, +leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like +the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would +be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage +Queen: so she waited. + + The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the +Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!' +said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice. + + `What IS the fun?' said Alice. + + `Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they +never executes nobody, you know. Come on!' + + `Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went +slowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life, +never!' + + They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the +distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, +as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart +would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' she +asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the +same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got +no sorrow, you know. Come on!' + + So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with +large eyes full of tears, but said nothing. + + `This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to +know your history, she do.' + + `I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow +tone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've +finished.' + + So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice +thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he +doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently. + + `Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was +a real Turtle.' + + These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only +by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and +the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very +nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your +interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be +more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. + + `When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more +calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to +school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call +him Tortoise--' + + `Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. + + `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock +Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!' + + `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple +question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and +looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At +last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow! +Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words: + + `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe +it--' + + `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. + + `You did,' said the Mock Turtle. + + `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak +again. The Mock Turtle went on. + + `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school +every day--' + + `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be +so proud as all that.' + + `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. + + `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.' + + `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. + + `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. + + `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock +Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the +end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."' + + `You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the +bottom of the sea.' + + `I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a +sigh. `I only took the regular course.' + + `What was that?' inquired Alice. + + `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock +Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic-- +Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.' + + `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What +is it?' + + The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never +heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify +is, I suppose?' + + `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything-- +prettier.' + + `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to +uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.' + + Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about +it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you +to learn?' + + `Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting +off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern, +with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old +conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us +Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.' + + `What was THAT like?' said Alice. + + `Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm +too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.' + + `Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics +master, though. He was an old crab, HE was.' + + `I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he +taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.' + + `So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; +and both creatures hid their faces in their paws. + + `And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a +hurry to change the subject. + + `Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the +next, and so on.' + + `What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. + + `That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon +remarked: `because they lessen from day to day.' + + This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a +little before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day +must have been a holiday?' + + `Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. + + `And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly. + + `That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a +very decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.' + + + + CHAPTER X + + The Lobster Quadrille + + + The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper +across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for +a minute or two sobs choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone +in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him +and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered +his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on +again:-- + + `You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' +said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' +(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, +and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful +thing a Lobster Quadrille is!' + + `No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?' + + `Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the +sea-shore--' + + `Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon, +and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of +the way--' + + `THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon. + + `--you advance twice--' + + `Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon. + + `Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to +partners--' + + `--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the +Gryphon. + + `Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--' + + `The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. + + `--as far out to sea as you can--' + + `Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon. + + `Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, +capering wildly about. + + `Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the +Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, +who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat +down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. + + `It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly. + + `Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle. + + `Very much indeed,' said Alice. + + `Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the +Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall +sing?' + + `Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.' + + So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now +and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and +waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle +sang this, very slowly and sadly:-- + + +`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. +"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my + tail. +See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! +They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the +dance? + +Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the +dance? +Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the +dance? + + +"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be +When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to + sea!" +But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look + askance-- +Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the + dance. + Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join + the dance. + Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join + the dance. + +`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. +"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. +The further off from England the nearer is to France-- +Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. + + Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the + dance? + Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the + dance?"' + + + + `Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said +Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so +like that curious song about the whiting!' + + `Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've +seen them, of course?' + + `Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she +checked herself hastily. + + `I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but +if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're +like.' + + `I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their +tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.' + + `You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: +`crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails +in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle +yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all +that,' he said to the Gryphon. + + `The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with +the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So +they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in +their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.' + + `Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew +so much about a whiting before.' + + `I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the +Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?' + + `I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?' + + `IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very +solemnly. + + Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she +repeated in a wondering tone. + + `Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I +mean, what makes them so shiny?' + + Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she +gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.' + + `Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep +voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.' + + `And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great +curiosity. + + `Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather +impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.' + + `If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were +still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep +back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"' + + `They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle +said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.' + + `Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise. + + `Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came +to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With +what porpoise?"' + + `Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice. + + `I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended +tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR +adventures.' + + `I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' +said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to +yesterday, because I was a different person then.' + + `Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. + + `No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an +impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.' + + So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when +she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about +it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on +each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she +gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly +quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD, +FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming +different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said +`That's very curious.' + + `It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon. + + `It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated +thoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat +something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as +if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice. + + `Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said +the Gryphon. + + `How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat +lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.' +However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so +full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was +saying, and the words came very queer indeed:-- + + `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, + "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." + As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose + Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' + + [later editions continued as follows + When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, + And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, + But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, + His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] + + `That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' +said the Gryphon. + + `Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it +sounds uncommon nonsense.' + + Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her +hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way +again. + + `I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle. + + `She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with +the next verse.' + + `But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD +he turn them out with his nose, you know?' + + `It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was +dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the +subject. + + `Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: +`it begins "I passed by his garden."' + + Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would +all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:-- + + `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, + How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--' + + [later editions continued as follows + The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, + While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. + When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, + Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: + While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, + And concluded the banquet--] + + `What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle +interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far +the most confusing thing I ever heard!' + + `Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and +Alice was only too glad to do so. + + `Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the +Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you +a song?' + + `Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' +Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather +offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle +Soup," will you, old fellow?' + + The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes +choked with sobs, to sing this:-- + + + `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, + Waiting in a hot tureen! + Who for such dainties would not stoop? + Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! + Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, + Beautiful, beautiful Soup! + + `Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, + Game, or any other dish? + Who would not give all else for two p + ennyworth only of beautiful Soup? + Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, + Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!' + + `Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had +just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' +was heard in the distance. + + `Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, +it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song. + + `What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon +only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more +faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the +melancholy words:-- + + `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, + Beautiful, beautiful Soup!' + + + + CHAPTER XI + + Who Stole the Tarts? + + + The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when +they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts +of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: +the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on +each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, +with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the +other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large +dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice +quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,' +she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed +to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about +her, to pass away the time. + + Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had +read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that +she knew the name of nearly everything there. `That's the +judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.' + + The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown +over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he +did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly +not becoming. + + `And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve +creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because +some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they +are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over +to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and +rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the +meaning of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have done just +as well. + + The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. +`What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They +can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.' + + `They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in +reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the +trial.' + + `Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but +she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in +the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked +anxiously round, to make out who was talking. + + Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their +shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!' +on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them +didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his +neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in +before the trial's over!' thought Alice. + + One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, +Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got +behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it +away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was +Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of +it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write +with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very +little use, as it left no mark on the slate. + + `Herald, read the accusation!' said the King. + + On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and +then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- + + `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, + All on a summer day: + The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, + And took them quite away!' + + `Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury. + + `Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's +a great deal to come before that!' + + `Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit +blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First +witness!' + + The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in +one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg +pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in: but I +hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.' + + `You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you +begin?' + + The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into +the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I +think it was,' he said. + + `Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. + + `Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse. + + `Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury +eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then +added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence. + + `Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter. + + `It isn't mine,' said the Hatter. + + `Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who +instantly made a memorandum of the fact. + + `I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; +`I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.' + + Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the +Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. + + `Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or +I'll have you executed on the spot.' + + This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept +shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the +Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his +teacup instead of the bread-and-butter. + + Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which +puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was +beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she +would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she +decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for +her. + + `I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was +sitting next to her. `I can hardly breathe.' + + `I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.' + + `You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse. + + `Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know +you're growing too.' + + `Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: +`not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily +and crossed over to the other side of the court. + + All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the +Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to +one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the +singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter +trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. + + `Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have +you executed, whether you're nervous or not.' + + `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a +trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week +or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and +the twinkling of the tea--' + + `The twinkling of the what?' said the King. + + `It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied. + + `Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. +`Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!' + + `I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things +twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--' + + `I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. + + `You did!' said the Hatter. + + `I deny it!' said the March Hare. + + `He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.' + + `Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, +looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the +Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. + + `After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread- +and-butter--' + + `But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked. + + `That I can't remember,' said the Hatter. + + `You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you +executed.' + + The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, +and went down on one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he +began. + + `You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. + + Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately +suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a +hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had +a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: +into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat +upon it.) + + `I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often +read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some +attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the +officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant +till now.' + + `If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' +continued the King. + + `I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as +it is.' + + `Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. + + Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. + + `Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we +shall get on better.' + + `I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious +look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers. + + `You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the +court, without even waiting to put his shoes on. + + `--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one +of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the +officer could get to the door. + + `Call the next witness!' said the King. + + The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the +pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before +she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began +sneezing all at once. + + `Give your evidence,' said the King. + + `Shan't,' said the cook. + + The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a +low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.' + + `Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy +air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till +his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What +are tarts made of?' + + `Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. + + `Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her. + + `Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that +Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch +him! Off with his whiskers!' + + For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the +Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down +again, the cook had disappeared. + + `Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. +`Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the +Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness. +It quite makes my forehead ache!' + + Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, +feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like, +`--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself. +Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top +of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!' + + + + CHAPTER XII + + Alice's Evidence + + + `Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the +moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she +jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with +the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads +of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding +her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset +the week before. + + `Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great +dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, +for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and +she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once +and put back into the jury-box, or they would die. + + `The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave +voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-- +ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as +he said do. + + Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she +had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing +was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable +to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that +it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it +would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.' + + As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of +being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and +handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write +out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed +too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, +gazing up into the roof of the court. + + `What do you know about this business?' the King said to +Alice. + + `Nothing,' said Alice. + + `Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King. + + `Nothing whatever,' said Alice. + + `That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. +They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when +the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means, +of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and +making faces at him as he spoke. + + `UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and +went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- +unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word +sounded best. + + Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some +`unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to +look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she +thought to herself. + + At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily +writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out +from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE +HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.' + + Everybody looked at Alice. + + `I'M not a mile high,' said Alice. + + `You are,' said the King. + + `Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. + + `Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides, +that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.' + + `It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King. + + `Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice. + + The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. +`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling +voice. + + `There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said +the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has +just been picked up.' + + `What's in it?' said the Queen. + + `I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems +to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' + + `It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was +written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.' + + `Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. + + `It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact, +there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper +as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set +of verses.' + + `Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of +they jurymen. + + `No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the +queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) + + `He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. +(The jury all brightened up again.) + + `Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and +they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.' + + `If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the +matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd +have signed your name like an honest man.' + + There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the +first really clever thing the King had said that day. + + `That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen. + + `It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't +even know what they're about!' + + `Read them,' said the King. + + The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin, +please your Majesty?' he asked. + + `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on +till you come to the end: then stop.' + + These were the verses the White Rabbit read:-- + + `They told me you had been to her, + And mentioned me to him: + She gave me a good character, + But said I could not swim. + + He sent them word I had not gone + (We know it to be true): + If she should push the matter on, + What would become of you? + + I gave her one, they gave him two, + You gave us three or more; + They all returned from him to you, + Though they were mine before. + + If I or she should chance to be + Involved in this affair, + He trusts to you to set them free, + Exactly as we were. + + My notion was that you had been + (Before she had this fit) + An obstacle that came between + Him, and ourselves, and it. + + Don't let him know she liked them best, + For this must ever be + A secret, kept from all the rest, + Between yourself and me.' + + `That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' +said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--' + + `If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had +grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit +afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't +believe there's an atom of meaning in it.' + + The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe +there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to +explain the paper. + + `If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a +world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And +yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his +knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some +meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you +can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave. + + The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said. +(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.) + + `All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering +over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's +the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, +that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--' + + `But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said +Alice. + + `Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to +the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT. +Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my +dear, I think?' he said to the Queen. + + `Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the +Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off +writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no +mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was +trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.) + + `Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round +the court with a smile. There was a dead silence. + + `It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and +everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the +King said, for about the twentieth time that day. + + `No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' + + `Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having +the sentence first!' + + `Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple. + + `I won't!' said Alice. + + `Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. +Nobody moved. + + `Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full +size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!' + + At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying +down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half +of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on +the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently +brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the +trees upon her face. + + `Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long +sleep you've had!' + + `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told +her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange +Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and +when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a +curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's +getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she +ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. + + But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her +head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of +little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began +dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:-- + + First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the +tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes +were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her +voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back +the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and +still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place +around her became alive the strange creatures of her little +sister's dream. + + The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried +by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the +neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as +the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, +and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate +guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the +Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once +more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's +slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, +filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable +Mock Turtle. + + So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in +Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and +all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only +rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the +reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep- +bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd +boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and +all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the +confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the +cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's +heavy sobs. + + Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of +hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how +she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and +loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about +her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager +with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of +Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their +simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, +remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. + + THE END + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/tests/extensions/data/fireworks.jpg b/tests/extensions/data/fireworks.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000000..078cf1755d Binary files /dev/null and b/tests/extensions/data/fireworks.jpg differ diff --git a/tests/extensions/testcompression.nim b/tests/extensions/testcompression.nim new file mode 100644 index 0000000000..3b540a6524 --- /dev/null +++ b/tests/extensions/testcompression.nim @@ -0,0 +1,110 @@ +## nim-ws +## Copyright (c) 2021 Status Research & Development GmbH +## Licensed under either of +## * Apache License, version 2.0, ([LICENSE-APACHE](LICENSE-APACHE)) +## * MIT license ([LICENSE-MIT](LICENSE-MIT)) +## at your option. +## This file may not be copied, modified, or distributed except according to +## those terms. + +import std/os +import pkg/[chronos, stew/byteutils, stew/io2] +import ../asyncunit +import ../../ws/ws, ../helpers +import ../../ws/extensions/compression/deflate + +const + dataFolder = "tests" / "extensions" / "data" + +suite "permessage deflate compression": + var server: HttpServer + let address = initTAddress("127.0.0.1:8888") + let deflateFactory = deflateFactory() + + teardown: + server.stop() + await server.closeWait() + + test "text compression": + let textData = io2.readAllBytes(dataFolder / "alice29.txt").get() + proc handle(request: HttpRequest) {.async.} = + let server = WSServer.new( + protos = ["proto"], + factories = [deflateFactory], + ) + let ws = await server.handleRequest(request) + + while ws.readyState != ReadyState.Closed: + let recvData = await ws.recv() + if ws.readyState == ReadyState.Closed: + break + await ws.send(recvData, + if ws.binary: Opcode.Binary else: Opcode.Text) + + server = HttpServer.create( + address, + handle, + flags = {ReuseAddr}) + server.start() + + let client = await WebSocket.connect( + host = "127.0.0.1", + port = Port(8888), + path = "/ws", + protocols = @["proto"], + factories = @[deflateFactory] + ) + + await client.send(textData, Opcode.Text) + + var recvData: seq[byte] + while recvData.len < textData.len: + let res = await client.recv() + recvData.add res + if client.readyState == ReadyState.Closed: + break + + check textData == recvData + await client.close() + + test "binary data compression": + let binaryData = io2.readAllBytes(dataFolder / "fireworks.jpg").get() + proc handle(request: HttpRequest) {.async.} = + let server = WSServer.new( + protos = ["proto"], + factories = [deflateFactory], + ) + let ws = await server.handleRequest(request) + while ws.readyState != ReadyState.Closed: + let recvData = await ws.recv() + if ws.readyState == ReadyState.Closed: + break + await ws.send(recvData, + if ws.binary: Opcode.Binary else: Opcode.Text) + + server = HttpServer.create( + address, + handle, + flags = {ReuseAddr}) + server.start() + + let client = await WebSocket.connect( + host = "127.0.0.1", + port = Port(8888), + path = "/ws", + protocols = @["proto"], + factories = @[deflateFactory] + ) + + await client.send(binaryData, Opcode.Binary) + + var recvData: seq[byte] + while recvData.len < binaryData.len: + let res = await client.recv() + recvData.add res + if client.readyState == ReadyState.Closed: + break + + check binaryData == recvData + + await client.close() diff --git a/tests/testcommon.nim b/tests/testcommon.nim index dcdf22a416..7d102bb318 100644 --- a/tests/testcommon.nim +++ b/tests/testcommon.nim @@ -13,3 +13,4 @@ import ./testframes import ./testutf8 import ./testextutils import ./extensions/testexts +import ./extensions/testcompression